Here we switch to digital for a book I’ve not actually read before. Even if I’d been buying ASM at this time, the reunion of Brian Reed and line artist Marco Santucci from Secret Invasion: Spider-Man are a neon sign telling you this is not essential. Colorist Christ Sotomayor is also present. I mean, given the events of SI: Spider-Man, there’s a good chance Spider-Man isn’t even in this. But let’s find out!
Well, I sure do regret reading this immediately. “Om nom nom?” That’s what we’re reduced to, here? Can I look forward to Venom saying “I can haz cheeseburger” later?
Well, at least Spider-Man appears in a comic with his name on the cover. Ya never know. Well, they get to fightin’ and bantering poorly, Spider-Man being very nonchalant and callous about Venom’s biting people’s heads off in front of him and what have you, and then there’s a visually confusing sequence where they plunge from the decaying Asgard to the ground below on some kind of vehicle with explodes and neither of them is even a little beat up after? What? Spider-Man even “quips” “We’re about to fall to our deaths!” but his costume isn’t even damaged, let alone his person after a miles long fall and a violent explosion. Stupid. They pick their fight back up on the streets of Broxton, but Ms. Marvel swoops in and wallops Venom.
Oh, this comic sucks so bad. Spider-Man never thought of that because that’s not how it works! Or at least it wasn’t, when the damn symbiote used to come out of their pores and stuff. They were bonded on a chemical level. Now Ms. Marvel can just yoink the host out of the symbiote’s mouth. Ugh. Then, in another poorly drawn sequence, the Venom symbiote overtakes Ms. Marvel. Remember when it was bonded to its host for life? When that got it off Peter was near-death experiences? I sure do.
They keep fighting until Spider-Man just swings away, luring Ms. Venom to, you guessed it, a church bell tower. If you can now just pull someone out of the goo, why even bother? Spider-Man is strong enough to lift a bus, surely he can just do a quick grab?
Picking up on Carol’s clue, Spider-Man kicks Ms. Venom into a powerline, the zap from which allows Carol to burst free. Somehow.
I actively hate this comic book.
All Spider-Man seems to care about are the events of Reed’s own Symbiote Spider-Man mini, unsurprisingly…
…and/or the fallout from his date with Carol in Ms. Marvel 47. Brian “I have my own sub-universe” Reed, I guess. Well, Carol asks Spider-Man if he’s ever played baseball, and he webs Venom’s ankles and swings him toward Ms. Marvel, who swats him into the air with a car’s grille, sending him flying into a HAMMER aircraft in the distance, like some kind of Looney Tunes gag. And they just leave it there. I guess Venom will sort himself out, right? Despite him having survived a much bigger explosion mere pages ago, they feel like their work here is done. There is some very lame banter, including “Because of Mac Gargan, half of Manhattan thinks I eat squirrels!”
Pointless fluff, as promised! I can only blame myself. Now, on with the show…