Sometimes, there’s just not enough Spider-Man product on the stands. Take this month, for example, cover date July 2010. This month saw release of 4 ASMs and an Annual (A mere 9 months after the last one), a Web, an Avengers, the first issue of a 4-issue spin-off miniseries, two of the Peter Parker reprints of the digital series we looked at awhile ago, a USM and an Ultimate miniseries. And that’s just ones I know about, he might’ve guest starred somewhere, also. By my count, that’s 12 Spider-Man-related comic books cover dated July. And that just doesn’t feel like enough, ya know? Where are people going to get their Spidey fix if they can only find 12 Spider-Man titles this month? It’s only right, indeed, a necessity, to add a 13th book to the roster. And to make it a completely superfluous thing like this. With… a surprisingly not great cover. Who even is that on the left? Is that meant to be Carlie Cooper with a new haircut? A wildly off-model Betty Brant? A female reimagining of 15-year old Peter Parker? I really don’t know. A recap page tries to set the scene by detailing Spidey’s great loves, leaving out both Betty Brant and Black Cat, despite her having the first story in this, and including his “crush” on Carlie Cooper, a girl he’s never gone on a date with. Good stuff. It also says he revealed his secret to MJ instead of what actually happened and says they almost got married, but didn’t, “for reasons neither will yet discuss” (Read: Joe Quesada hasn’t told us “what happened” thanks to the Mephisto deal yet). So, you know, off to a good start. Our first tale is courtesy of writer Chris Yost, penciler Michael Ryan (Last seen in these parts drawing the first issue of that disastrous Disassembled tie-in), inker Danny Miki and colorist John Rauch. Nothing says “essential” like a book with not one member of ASM’s sprawling creative merry-go-round present. Anyway, it’s “several years ago,” and a splash depicts Spider-Man on his his knees yelling “noooooooo” like Darth Vader in Revenge of the Sith. Ok.
Rough start. Looks nice, though. Michael Ryan’s stuff is clean and meticulous.
Clean and consistent. Is he using 3D model backgrounds? I think Pete Woods was doing it by this time. That’s a weirdly specific anchor point, but Woods showing off the model of Metropolis he made for Superman is what made me aware of Sketchup, which I later used to make the city and vehicles in my own webcomic, so that’s kind of my mile marker for the widely used software. I guess it kind of sounds hypocritical, given how exasperating I find the guys who trace Poser models, but I think background models are fine (Especially if you made them yourself). A building doesn’t have to convey emotion or look like it’s moving or, indeed, like it’s alive. It can be more stiff. And using a 3D background gives you more time to focus on making your characters not look stiff. It can be done well and poorly, but I think it’s ok.
Spidey swoops in and saves Felicia. As they banter, the spare parts monster falls to bits. They catch up with “the Occultist” as he’s getting into the vault, and chide him for probably only being able to sustain one spell at a time, hence the golem collapsing.
Spider-Man arrives home at his apartment, where Aunt May lets herself in before he can change clothes. He says he’ll be right out as she mentions being his emergency contact and his landlord calling to tell her he’s late on rent when the giant pile of money from the bank appears in his bedroom.
Pretty funny!
Our hero tries to sneak the money back into the bank, but it snaps right back at him as he leaves. That homeless guy sees him swinging around with it and has opinions, of course, and then he winds up back at the window of the complaining guy from the top, who tells him he should invest. Ryan is almost certainly using models for backgrounds.
Every single time I see Lightmaster, I think, “I never thought I’d see Lightmaster again!” He’s back in his regular suit after that new one in Mr. Negative. Our man goes to see Felicia and explains what happens, saying he now plans to break into jail and make Occultist reverse the spell. Black Cat asks if she can have it instead. Spidey thinks this may have been a mistake. In short order, they break him out of jail so he can reverse the spell. Then BC steals the money, but it of course just teleports back to Spider-Man. Occultist is not amused.
We coulda not put a cell phone in the final panel, you know. Obviously, the story can no longer take place in the 80s, but it takes place around 80s comics, where they have no phones, and it would’ve been easy to end on the “charge it” box. Ah, well, no real issue. Essential? No. Fun, though. A good deal more fun than most of the Spidey/Black Cat tales of the actual period, even. But fun time is over, because Nick Dragotta is here. People love Nick Dragotta, despite him drawing the absolute most insane faces I have ever seen. Ever seen. I have developed a little theory, in my long years. With some rare exceptions, comic book artists come in 2 flavors: You’re either extremely good at storytelling… panel-to-panel, page-to-page flow of the story… or you’re really good at drawing people. But you’re almost never both. Frank Miller, for example. Innovative, extremely dynamic layouts as he rose to prominence in the 80s. Innovative, extremely dynamic layouts full of figures that look like a preliminary sketch by Neal Adams and some weird, weird faces. The 2010s really see the beginning of a dramatic shift to artists who can draw the most beautiful people you’ve ever seen, and can barely layout a page, let alone an entire issue. I gather Dragotta is loved by fans and writers alike for his layout abilities. But… As this story written by Brian Reed with Dragotta on all art duties will show… well, you’ll see.
Well, hey, I guess Carlie did get a haircut. “The many loves of the Amazing Spider-Man, featuring a girl he kind of knows!” I guess this story, which appears to be mostly Carlie having a flashback, “takes place” much further out than the rest of this block, but that Gauntlet story is 100 years long and I didn’t want to put this with it. Whatever. Anyway, art doesn’t look especially off putting yet, right? What am I talking about?
Carlie’s face, panel 2, begins to scratch the surface of the issue. Well, yes, apparently we’ve decided Carlie and Gwen knew each other. Seems kinda lame to me, but I guess the timeline makes sense. “Of all the police precincts in all the boroughs…” Furthermore, a young office Watanabe appears on the next page, notyet a captain like in the BND era. Well, the girls are taken to George’s office and told to stay there while their dads are off being cops.
They go through the desk, which is very boring at first, until Carlie hits the files on the teen strangler their dads are currently investigating. Carlie is intrigued and Gwen is horrified. But also…
I think this is actually a good take on young Gwen. She was always so delicate and sheltered-seeming in the old comics (I find it kind of telling when dudes who weren’t even alive to read those comics attest that Gwen was Peter’s ultimate love interest).
Officer Watanabe busts in and is aghast to find the girls rifling through George’s files, but while Gwen pleads with her not to tell their dads, Carlie says she has to tell them that she’s deduced the killer is dressing his victims up like his dead daughter.
This comic is really starting to be weird to me. “The Many Loves of the Amazing Spider-Man, featuring a story where one of them is present, and another one about 2 of them as children!” There’s no romance in this book about the many loves of the Amazing Spider-Man. You know? What’s going on here? As for Nick Dragotta, you can see his weird faces, but this didn’t provide any chances for his worst tic. We will sadly see it later. Well, we’re almost out of pages, so the next story will be the last, and it has to feature Mary Jane, but color me surprised to see that it’s be Roger Stern. That’s cool! He’s joined by Ron Frenz, Victor Olazaba and Andrew Dalhouse. A Stern/Frenz team-up, very old school.
How utterly ironic is it that they got the old guys to do the only story that takes place in the present?? That’s very funny to me.
Traffic is snarled due to Spider-Man fighting Lady Stilt-Man in ASM 611 (Leave it to Roger Stern to place his story firmly in-continuity), so MJ decides to walk the rest of the way. She’s auditioning for a play as “Emma Holmes,” which I find kind of weird. I get the idea that she feels she’s typecast, but doesn’t she have to admit who she is if she wins the part? Won’t that get weird?
Stern has Frenz recreating his own panels from ASM 257 & 258 here, as well as a panel form Peter’s failed proposal back in ASM 183, with that first word balloon pointed at the wrong person, even. Well, MJ gets good feedback, but is told she’s too pretty for the role, even in a wig. She leaves, thinking she doesn’t really need this gig, she just thought it would prove she wasn’t a one-trick pony. She heads on to her signing at a bookstore, where WEBS by Peter Parker is prominently in a bargain bin (Cover faithfully recreated and all), making her think of him again. She thinks maybe she should call him.
I wonder if this is meant to imply she and Peter might get back together. Fat chance of that! The all-new, all-single Peter Parker won’t even go on a date, but putting him back in a steady relationship where readers wouldn’t miss the dating is the worst possible solution, apparently. Well, that bit of fluff is over. Was that worth $3? On the one hand, it’s a good example of why I was happy not to buy ASM at the time. On the other hand, I did try to collect all of Roger Stern’s Spider-Man work, and I didn’t know he was in this. Do I need a copy? I don’t think I do…