Alright, alright, let’s see how bad it can get this month. We open… we open on a guy bringing “some Absorbing Man” to his friends. So, like, Owl is selling it as exactly what it is. That is insane. And people are just… snorting part of a living person who’s been turned into drugs? And ok with that? This comic sucks. They do their Crusher and pass out.
Serves them right, really. Well, now we can back to the A plot, as Peter has just been informed Ethan is a Skrull as Ethan is running up to him looking for help. Then JJJ demands they come to his office.
Where does he keep getting these suits? Is he Skrulling them up? I would assume he isn’t supposed to know he’s a shapeshifter, and also, why wouldn’t he have made a real supersuit the first time he powered up? Oh, wait, I don’t care. I so don’t care. The scream is from someone down on the street, which is FULL of people suffering the adverse effects of snorting a supervillain. Does Reginald Hudlin think every single person in New York does cocaine? Also we’re this many issues in and Tan is still steadfastly refusing to draw the spider on Spider-Man’s back. Meanwhile, the FF are in the place actually called Hicksville, where Reed & Sue are trying to reason with Ethan’s cartoon stereotype redneck Christian dad. I think I deserve my money back for these comics.
Why does every male character with hair in this comic have a mullet? Did you think that’s what was poppin in 2005, Billy? Well, Ethan swoops in and attacks the Thing, which is always a smart choice. When he’s quickly subdued, he’s dragged back to the ship, which activates a light that is probably reprogramming him, and which zaps Reed for getting too close. So Ben punches it into space. Ok.
I don’t understand this. Why is this plot in this book? It’s barely related to Spider-Man, and not at all related to the A plot. Why is this here? Meanwhile, Spider-Man who has appeared on 4 of the 13 pages so far, is beating up junkies trying to use their powers for evil, not really participating in the A plot of his own book.
That little worm thing was the bit of Absorbing Man that guy on the bus had ingested. And how did it come out? Did he poop it out? Sweat it out? Doesn’t make sense. It ambles into the sewer, where Crusher is slowly reforming himself… currently, he’s just legs, which seems dumb. Back on the farm, Ethan wakes up shooting eyebeams and yelling in Skrull.
How in the world could Ethan remove Ben’s powers? Is someone going to explain this?
Oh, please. No one’s afraid of the Owl.
I feel that Crusher is in the right here. Big finish next issue. I’m sure it will be great…