Rhino gets one? Really? rhino not only got relegated to a single issue of ASM, but it had the same kind of backstory nugget this title seems to exist for, and he gets one? I am so confused about the plan here. Fred Van Lente is at the helm, joined by Nick Dragotta on both lines and colors, so I assume we can look forward to some real weird mouths.
Uh… ok. Rhino proceeds to help some dictator guy win the war, or something, and then narrates his way back to his origins. He narrates like a mob mook, as he so often has, even in a story that acknowledges he’s Russian, which is very weird. He is portrayed as having been so dumb he didn’t know what he was signing up for when agreed to be sealed into the Rhino suit, which… I guess explains why someone would allow themselves to be sealed into a Rhino suit, but even this character isn’t usually made to be this dumb.
What are we doing here? Sheesh. Nick Dragotta never drew a giant gaping maw of a mouth big enough for him.
Look at those Rob Liefeld teeth. Man. Well, that was stupid. And seemed like it was really undermining the main Rhino business in the actual ASM issue. That guy wasn’t dumb as rocks. Well, whatever, ultimately, who cares? There follows the standard Spider-Girl installment I shall not be reading, and then an Aunt May & Jay Jameson adventure by JM DeMatteis, Val Semeiks, Dan Green and Andres Mossa. Andressa Mossa the only person on staff for this not at retirement age, I think. Well, DeMatteis always seemed to enjoy writing May, maybe he can avoid wallowing in misery for 5 or 6 pages. One wonders what ol’ JM thinks about the retooled May. She’s not the same character he wrote, that’s for sure. You’d be hard pressed to find any (reasonable) person upset by the younger, smarter, not-always-having-a-heart-attack May, but there’s no denying she’s far removed from Steve & Stan.
We’re treated next to an entire page of Jay & May cavorting on the beach while some guy is offended by the sight of old people having fun until his wife clocks him one, and then May begins a letter to Peter as narration.
2010 and we’re still using this illegible cursive narration text DeMatteis loves so much. Come on, man. Come on.
All props for giving Nathan some shine. I’m still not over Michelinie slandering his name despite it being years since I revisited that stuff. Well, now they’re at the airport, getting ready to go home, except Jay just had the thought that they should go to Thailand because he’s never been. May is initially apprehensive, then makes her decision.
Web of Spider-Man is not exactly proving to be an essential part of the publishing line, but at least this was pleasant enough. JM getting to write May in genuine happiness is nice. Even tho he killed her and all, you know. What villain shall we see next time?