So, yeah, back to this. As we’ve seen, Disassembled was a totally self-contained story. But they had the idea to create a bunch of tie-ins where… bad things happened to people. Ostensibly because of Wanda’s hex, but of the ones I read, none of them really fit into the main narrative in any way (And in Captain America & The Falcon, Cap randomly had a brief romantic encounter with Wanda, I guess while she was destroying everything? Very confusing, but that story, by Christopher Priest and former blog regular Joe Bennett, was better than the main one). Ragnarok came and Thor died (It was a clean place to end his title due to dwindling interest. His book would stay canceled for several years before being revived by J. Michael Straczynski and the aforementioned Olivier Coipel for a critically acclaimed run). Two different Captain America monthlies tied in with unrelated stories. FF & Iron Man also got disassembled. And this story happened to Spider-Man. Why Spider-Man? He was a reserve Avenger at best in this moment (Seemingly not even that thanks to Millar’s stupid story). The FF at least feature at least 2, maybe 4 former full-time Avengers (And that’s not even counting She-Hulk), but Spider-Man is ancillary to the Avengers at best. I think the answer was just $$$. Anyway, because it doesn’t relate to the main story, but is branded as such, I decided to hold it til the main story was over. I dunno. I make up the rules as I go. Once you see how this goes, I have a hard time imagining this story happened and then Spidey just bopped over to the mansion in time for the Kree part like it was whatever. Anyway, as if this couldn’t get any worse, Humberto Ramos is back, but not for the whole story, for some reason. Wayne Faucher and Studio F hang in there, as always. Peter and Mary Jane are in the park somewhere, and he’s got his face down on the ground looking at ants. She’s mad at him and won’t say why, so he assumes it’s “that time of the month,” because our man Peter has been replaced with the lead from a terrible sitcom. He finally figures out it’s because that weird lady kissed him. Also, it’s implied at least some time has passed, so plenty of time for Spidey to go to the mansion.
Somehow, Ramos has gotten worse since last time. Maybe this was a rush job. There were literally teenagers doodling on their math tests drawing better than this. Why has MJ suddenly stopped being mad? And then the page turn is Spider-Man swinging around. This comic’s barely started and it sucks. He’s swinging around thinking he lied to MJ (I mean, all that stuff about the Queen being ugly and whatnot is pretty easily disproved by reviewing the footage, for starters). He can’t get her off his mind, but also doesn’t want to give in to whatever she’s programmed into him.
It’s really insane, when you think about it. How Jenkins was hailed as a huge improvement when he came on PPSM. How JMS was similarly a relief on ASM. How both of them have just taken a nosedive at the exact same time. Meanwhile, the Queen (Is that her supername? “The Queen?” That sucks) is getting her hair done, also, and we’re told she gets a beehive, get it, but Ramos doesn’t get it, and doesn’t draw a beehive. 0/10. She tells her drones how much she hates people as they descend into some kind of underground lair in the subway. Elsewhere…
I’m with unnamed back-of-a-guy up there, what’s the point of this briefing if he won’t tell them what the threat is or how to deal with it? That’s stupid. Like this comic book. How does Nick seem to know more than Cap and less than Cap about the Queen on the same page? There’s absolutely no way Cap would know more about this than Nick. Ugh. Well, wherever Peter lives now, he wakes up from a nightmare about the Queen chasing him through tunnels and making blood pour out of his face. He looks out the window and Barker the dog bark-ers at him. Remember the dog?
Jenkins has somehow gone from writing months and months of sentimental treacle about that lovable ol’ sweetheart Peter Parker to writing the meanest, dumbest Peter since Len Wein. It almost reads like editorial told him to make this book edgier or something. Well, it’s time for the Queen’s origin…
Cap was 100% in the ice before the bomb was tested, and why did it give this woman insect powers? Why did this get published?
Whatever. We go back to Peter’s, where MJ is getting home, and she has a new hairstyle and also a new hair COLOR, for some reason, such that I wondered if she was Caryn at first. Good job, everyone.
This story only gets worse from here! Yay, me! It was so smart to decide to read all these comics again!