A lot of this stuff has well & truly strayed from the Spider-Man mandate of this blog, but at least I can justify stuff like this because Norman Osborn is in it. Also, it’s sort of setting the table for the new status quo, which will certainly be impacting Spider-Man, if not necessarily in his own title. Funny how that works. Well, Civil War started with a Bendis/Maleev Illuminati one-shot, so why not close Secret Invasion with a Bendis/Maleev Cabal one-shot? And how funny that Namor was in both groups? Complicated figure. Dean White colors, and while I have a soft spot for the Bendis/Maleev/Hollinsworth team, you can’t ask for better than Dean White. We begin with Emma Frost having a nightmare about not saving Kitty Pryde in GSAXM. Hey, we looked at that! Then she wakes up to a Thunderbolts lackey delivering her a package from Norman Osborn. And so, she travels from the X-Men’s current homebase of San Francisco to Avengers Tower in New York for the meeting at the end of SI 8, but she’s early. Not as early as…
Bendis still can’t write Emma. It’s funny how something as simple as “Yeah, ok,” can be wildly out of character, but it sure is.
Maleev’s Namor is so weird. Also all of Alex’s Dooms are really transparently based on this one statue that came out around this time, it’s pretty lazy.
Genuinely hilarious reaction from Namor to Loki there. Well, Norman walks in, and says what he said at the end of SI 8, and then goes on to explain his brand-new status quo, I guess in case you didn’t read SI 8, which… I mean, who is that person, hypothetically? What a madman. Norman says, as far as he’s concerned, his new position is good news for the people in this room.
We do not get to see who Norman’s friend is, but it sufficiently gives everyone pause. Emma wants to know why she’s there, as she’s not really a villain anymore, and Norman/Bendis try to sell the idea that, being a leader of the X-Men, she’s in a desperate position right now and should resort to her more traditional instincts, but it doesn’t really fly. A whole lotta work went into making Emma turn hero, it’ll take more than this to get her to switch back (When she inevitably does like a decade from this). Anyway, Norman’s still in sales mode:
Two years??? Man, the sliding timeline is such a mess.
Oh, I guess I haven’t addressed Loki. Briefly a woman. When the gods started coming back from Ragnarok, Loki showed up like this. We would eventually learn he’d stolen Sif’s body. But then, later, people got way into the idea that Loki is genderfluid and kinda retconned things around the idea. But, who cares, really. Well, one by one, the Hood, then Loki, then Emma leave. Then Namor and Doom discuss what to do. Doom says they should play along, and when Osborn inevitably implodes, they’ll carve up the world. Which, again, pretty weird for Namor in this moment. This Cabal doesn’t really make any sense. But, hey, nothing about this makes sense, so I guess in a way, it makes sense. I mean, none of it. Norman Osborn casually talking to the others like this? The Hood is the only person in the room below Norman’s usual paygrade. Norman was a wannabe mobster who they brought back as a calculating businessman, none of this makes him a guy who can stare down Dr. Doom. Warren Ellis’ Norman was closer to this, and directly responsible for inspiring this, but even so, he was a petty little man with his petty little control schemes, not this. He’s a weird little guy who flies around giggling while trying to kill Spider-Man. Suddenly he became Lex Luthor upon his resurrection, and now he’s, like Hannibal Lecter or something. It only works if Norman Osborn isn’t the guy who appeared in all those comics going back to the 60s. It sucks. But it’s the law of the land for the next year and a half or so, absurdly, so we must get used to it. Norman returns to Thunderbolts Mountain and orders all his stuff moved to the Tower. But then Swordsman is in his face about his big promotion.
They really picked the right guy for this job! That’s the other half of our status quo for ol’ Normie now: He’s never been crazier. And somehow, these geniuses, what, didn’t check his record? Didn’t read his file? Before making him top cop. It’s SUCH a ludicrous premise. This era was a long slog for me. And it’s only beginning. But we got one more stop before the end of this block.