I feel like almost every cover of this entire series is selling something you won’t find inside. And, not to be rude, but I think that’s because what you find inside is so routinely… unexciting. Last month, Ares was gonna battle Nick Fury. They just chatted instead. The 2 Utopia tie-in covers were largely correct. But #6 promised a Venom/Noh-varr fight that didn’t happen, #5 was Osborn in a Goblin mask that had no bearing on its contents, #3 promised you an Osborn/Doom fight that didn’t happen… What’s goin’ on, here, fellas? I don’t really remember what happens in this issue, but I doubt it’s anything like the cover. Especially since Sentry “died” last time. Well, we get started with two young Poser model ladies on a road trip entering a diner, where a very scared looking server takes their order and some truckers warn the girls to leave, and then everyone in the place and the girls’ car all turn to dust. Meanwhile, in Louisiana, Ares is chopping Man-Thing in half.
Uh, ok. Sentry is looking pretty alive. No mention is made of this. The next morning, the team is all eating breakfast together, which I still find hilarious, and Bullseye is complaining that they’re being worked too hard. Moonstone asks where Norman is. Bullseye asks if he’s next on her “to-do” list.
Pretty funny.
Too many bald guys in this comic. Especially if they’re all gonna be traced from the same Poser model. I’m including Daken here.
The 2 missing girls are named Betty and Veronica, which, ok, why not. We also learn some 44 other people have gone missing in the area, mostly out of towners. This is all the makings of a Hellboy story. But instead of a fun monster romp with beautiful art, we get the world’s stupidest team looking like mannequins. Norman sends the mannequin that looks like Sentry to investigate. Presumably Norman isn’t going because he doesn’t want to get disappeared twice in 10 issues. But, I mean, Sentry’s already died twice in that time, so really, why not?
I realize the general public doesn’t know or need to know what bad 3D models look like, but I cannot fathom thinking this page looks good, even so. The general public, and also Bendis and his editors. Never understand. It’s Greg Land all over again. Beloved and promoted for barely working. Well, Bob arrives in the town, and no one is there except a guy in a cowboy hat in the distance, and as soon as Sentry sees said cowboy, be begins to spontaneously combust. Or something.
Twice in 2 issues!
Mephisto. A Very Large Man. Molecule Man. Enchantress. Sk… Skull Guy. Zarathos? I don’t know. I don’t remember this at all. This was almost an Avengers comic for a minute…