Aaand we’re back. It’s still 2009, but now it’s ASM time. And also Osborn time, because there’s no escaping Norman Osborn in almost any comic you buy in this period. Joe Kelly, Phil Jiminez, Andy Lanning and Chris Chuckry at bat this week, no new names.
Couldn’t pay Rob Liefeld enough to draw that feet panel. I don’t think I believe that temperature fact.
Why… would they assume… “that kind” of pictures. Joe Kelly, man.
Well, that was an odious opening, but at least it wasn’t openly racist or mocking the mentally challenged like Joe Kelly’s first first issue of ASM. He set the bar so far below rock bottom right out of the gate that anything less than a hate crime is an improvement. The general idea of “Harry and Peter being friends again” is nice, I just wish they’d gotten someone else to write it. The boys are now looking up at Avengers Tower, given a full page splash from their perspective, and then we’re off to the offices of Frontline, where, over Norah Winters’ delightfully horrible insults, Peter says he wants to do a story to bring down Norman, and recaps for the reader the many reasons why Norman is bad (The ones that won’t ruin his secret, anyway). When Urich points out that Osborn and his Avengers are all legally protected and they can’t run a negative story without proof, Peter accuses him of being scared, which is very lame. That’s your old fashioned, 1970s Gerry Conway Peter, the real jerk. Norah Winters continues to be the worst throughout.
Do… Wolverine and Spider-Man think Norman Osborn in the President? Is Joe Kelly just bad at this?
Man, I am not enjoying this comic book. JJJ pulls Peter aside to tell him they have to find a way to break up their parents, and Peter keeps talking about how much he hates JJJ, to his face, which has never been true in 40+ years of comics, so that’s nice. And then Norman Osborn… uh… shows up, I guess, except he’s already at a table even tho a guy announces his arrival? And everyone but JJJ is horrified that he’s there, and Jay makes an excuse that May is feeling sick and they need to leave.
Jiminez keeps drawing Jay bald in long shots, which leads me to believe he drew him bald in all shots and editorial caught it and made him (or someone) fix it. Him drawing May with a totally new haircut didn’t cause as much trouble, I guess.
Well, ok. Cut to Harry alone his place, relieved to be away from his dad, so of course Menace is there waiting for him. Menace inexplicably looks female now, by the way. Take a look:
Now that her secret’s out, I guess they just don’t care anymore! Well, I don’t either. Jiminez is loving these big heads popping out of the left side of panels. We obiously don’t see what Menace shows him, as we cut away to Norman’s limo. He’s talking to Victoria Hand, who says public opinion is slipping since Clint Barton’s TV stunt in New Avengers 50. Then Spider-Man rips the car open and kidnaps Norman, and there’s a splash reversing the cover of ASM 39, Spidey dragging Osborn through the sky. Man, remember when I got to read comics like ASM 39? I sure miss them.
Seems like, since Osborn’s miraculous resurrection, Spider-Man can always be counted on the fly off the handle and do something stupid like this. How many times have we already seen him do it? Ho hum.
It’s Harry calling to accept Norman’s offer. Spider-Man then runs off in a panic as Osborn laughs maniacally, and I look longingly at my reading list, wishing I could skip the next 10 months of comics. Why did Harry accept?
10 more months of the Norman Osborn show in ASM, Avengers, and any other non-Ultimate book we look at. Hooray for me.