Spider-Man Requiem 2: Req Harder! Almost the same staff as last issue, with the removal of Edgar Delgado. We open on a montage page of various news outlets talking about the aftermath. Then we get to it.
A key thing here is, JJJ hasn’t had a whole lot to say about Spider-Man in the first 133 issues of USM. HE used him as a marketing tool early, and he was rude to him later, most recently in USM 121, but it’s not like his crusade against Spider-Man was a part of the book the way it was in most of the life of ASM. Most of the times we saw JJJ, he wasn’t thinking about Spider-Man at all. So this whole history of persecution feels a bit like a retcon. And speaking of, we once again flashback to some time in Spider-Man’s history, as an exhausted and bleary eyed Peter is saved from falling asleep in class by an emergency evacuation order.
That was the Hulk smashing down to Earth in a 2-page splash. Weird. Last issue, I noted the news story Peter was reading was about Spider-Man fighting the Hulk, and assumed that placed the story after UMTU 3, but maybe it came after this, whenever this is.
Rushed or not, Bagley’s still got it. And the originals of these splash pages must’ve netted him a nice income, too. Is Spidey acting like he doesn’t know who the Hulk is? Surely we’re not being that ridiculous. they mix it up, Spidey gets in some good banter, and then he gets flung off into the distance, right over MJ’s head. He pulls himself together in a BARRUCKS Coffee, and then gets back to it.
That tank goes smashing through several cars before pushing 2 of them right into a school bus, which dangles precariously over the side of the bridge, all in a very thrilling action sequence I’m not sure most of the people drawing comics as I write this could do. Our hero is there, webbing the bus, trying with all his might to keep it from falling, but things are looking bad. But we also see Hulk catch a glimpse of this while fighting the military.
Spider-Man has a hard time getting anyone to get off the crumbling bus with Hulk standing there, but finally manages it. And as he does, Hulk seems to lose his anger. So…
Why on Earth doesn’t our man just web the gun?? Well, he doesn’t, so a bullet whizzes past his head toward Banner’s chest in slow motion, but by the time it gets there, it’s headed for the Hulk. So, the battle begins, but only for a page before Hulk leaps away. Spider-Man is still screaming at Ross for being such a jerk, but now that Hulk’s gone, he doesn’t care anymore, doesn’t even try to arrest him, the military just packs it in. This, again, is a real classic Marvel trope that didn’t really happen much in the Ultimate U, Hulk chased by the military. I think UMTU 2 & 3 might be the only time they ever did it, really. A lot of weird stuff going on in this issue. Such as… did Peter recognize the Hulk or what? He didn’t seem to. Banner didn’t tell him his name last time, so we can get over that, but seriously, no “Not this guy again?” I dunno.
Jonah’s explanation of and remorse for all his treatment of Spider-Man, as well as his singing of the seemingly dead hero’s praises, continues over several pages of reused art, none of it credited, which is upsetting to me. Maleev’s Spidey from Super Stories. A John Totleben splash from UMTU 10. A 2-page splash by Bags from USM 55. Immonen’s splash of Beetle from USM 124. Trevor Hairsine’s splash of Peter with the Ultimate Five attacking the White House in Ultimate Six 5. Did those guys get paid for this? I mean, I guess Bags and Immonen were already being paid, but what about the other 3? Not even credited! That sucks. At any rate, JJJ’s obituary continues onto a new splash of Spidey and the Ultimates by Bagley…
Still the wrong Iron Man. He’s drawing the stupid Bullseye Hawkeye and whatnot, why not Ultimate Iron Man?
Not dead! Big surprise, huh? For one thing, everyone knew a Vol. 2 of USM (sort of, mostly) was coming the very next month. So there was no tension in this as it came out. But for another thing, what a crap end to Spider-Man that would’ve been. Accidentally blown up by Dr. Strange’s house. Now, my friend Gregory, who I met on the Bendis Board in days of old, says that he recalls asking Bendis, much after the fact, if Peter was ever meant to die in this story, and Bendis actually said yes, but they changed their minds. I don’t recall this, but I assume it to have happened. But I assume if they really were gonna kill him here, they would have given him a more heroic ending. Still, what do I know, I’m just some guy. A guy who’s now finished all of the original run of USM. While this isn’t the end for our plucky hero, it is the end for Stuart Immonen as his artist. USM may have been the hottest comic of 2000, but by 2009, an artist of Immonen’s caliber and rising star simply couldn’t be left on a mid-level book like USM for long. We got so spoiled by 110 and a half issues of Bagley, and we would never see anything like that again. But while Stuart is off to greener pastures (Which we will see in the not-so-distant future), the future of Ultimate Peter Parker is in good hands. 64 posts from now, we’ll see what that means. But tomorrow, we find our way back to ASM circa 2009…