Before Peter can investigate the Kingpin, he’s got someone else to meet. I mean, maybe. I’m not sure what the intended reading order was. UMTU 3 came out the same month as USM 8, and it feels like 2 & 3 could happen before 9. That’s how I’m doin’ it, anyway. People posting reading orders these days understandably focus on collections, so jamming issues of different series together is just gonna have to be up to me. This 2-part is by penciler Phil Hester, his longtime collaborator Ande Parks inking and colorist Jung Choi as always. Hester is a pretty beloved guy in his era. Maybe not a superstar, but definitely a “fan favorite.” Wagner was one of Bendis’ heroes, this is one of his contemporaries. I feel I must be transparent and say he’s not really for me. His stuff is loose and cartoony in a way I’m not looking for in superhero comics. His style is consistent and intentional and I recognize the skill, just not for me.
JJJ & Robbie come whipping by having a heated debate about publishing a segment on mutant hysteria, as Ben desperately tries to tell them a green mutant is coming to wreck New York. Along the way, JJJ mentions Robbie’s decision to publish “the Victor Von Doom manifesto,” which is the first of many references to the Fantastic Four corner of the nascent Ultimate U that will have to be stricken from the record later, weirdly enough. Anyway, they’re arguing and Ben is laying out what’s going to happen to deaf ears until he says they need to tell the TV stations, which gets JJJ’s attention. He says TV is the enemy, but Ben says if a monster is coming, the people have a right to be warned. As JJJ asks how far away it is, the building shakes. Everyone rushes off to do their job and Ben Urich, whose original incarnation famously figured out Daredevil was Matt Murdock, is pointedly shown noticing Peter disappeared.
A quick and smartly done montage of our hero swinging further into chaos and danger as he gets closer to the Hulk leads us to…
I mean, it’s all personal preference, but this looks to me more like art suitable for the comics they made adapting their Saturday morning cartoon shows. A guy takes a photo of Hulk, and the noise gets his attention (Which seems… a bit unlikely given the circumstances? Surely there’s screaming people, car alarms, building alarms, etc everywhere?), and Hulk is about to smash. So Spider-Man lifts up a whole taxi and drops it on him. Spidey is quite pleased with himself until Hulk clambers out of the car pile he’s in.
I mean, that joke is pushing it, but it’s also pretty funny, you can’t deny it. An increasingly scared Spider-Man dodges another attack, then tries webbing Hulk’s eyes, with Hester continuing to draw Spider-Man’s web shooting like a firehose of liquid instead of, like, a web, but that only distracts him for so long. Spidey hits him with a mailbox and says he should really fall down, when a bike messenger throws a rock at Hulk. He’s hit by some flying debris in response, and Spider-Man is so preoccupied helping him that he doesn’t react when Hulk grabs him by the head.
This is some pretty classical style Marvel Team-Up for ya. MTU rarely let them use the Bugle staff so much, but otherwise, we’re in familiar territory. We’ll see how our hero avoids getting his head crushed next time.