There was that long running series, Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane. It would’ve been funny if they did a Carnage’s Girlfriend Shriek mini. It would’ve perfectly summed up the 90s, in a way. This issue does not make any sense tonally where it is, but it definitely takes place here, so whatever, another failure for Danny Fingroth. I think the table of contents in this issue shows Spider-Man defeating Shriek. Way to blow the ending, boys. This one brought to you by Terry Kavanagh (plot), Mike Lackey (script), Jerry Bingham, Tom Palmer & Freddy Mendez. It’s so weird to me that Jerry Bingham was getting so much work in the Spider-Office in this period. No disrespect intended, he just doesn’t really fit the vibe of the times. This issue’s inside cover is an ad for a series of trading cards where someone’s digitally painted over some existing comic art. I bet no one who drew the originals saw a check off that. I love comics, but I would never draw comics for a living. Also, it’s 1994, so the digital art is… not as good as it would be today! Well, Shriek is being wheeled into the new Ravencroft Hannibal Lecter-style. From… where, exactly? She’s just been prisoner transferred, like Carnage in the last annual, but…
So, this is those jerks trying to set Kafka up to fail, as seen in the last issue of Web. In short order, Shriek’s taken to a medical lab, where they plan to do an MRI on her (It is not abbreviated and I wonder why), and that Barker guy proves to be a real jerk, real fast, and he’s not alone!
What a scumbag! What a passel of scumbags! The totally unwanted return of Warrant! The thing about comics in this moment is they’re just awash in generic armored losers. More than anyone could count. Who could have been surprised when the bottom fell out if the guys spinning the plates really think WARRANT will be setting the world on fire? Man. Having unpleasant Arachnis Project flashbacks. In Kafka’s office, even Spider-Man’s already picked up on how that Reynard guy has set her up to fail, but she says her back’s against the wall. Then they go check out John Jameson at the security command center, so it’s time for Shriek to get loose.
Shriek controls electricity? What? I thought she just yelled and also had some kinda empathic powers. This character sucks so bad.
Come on, man, Spider-Man can take her by himself, why would you send all your cannon fodder in there? These idiots really do not need to be here. Shriek frees that bald guy and they exchange some banter as she goes to free some of the others. This… somehow… causes communications to go down, because of her powers, according to Kafka. Her powers make no sense at all now. So now all those Dollar Tree supervillains Jameson helpfully explained earlier are on the loose.
“Everybody hold your breath! I’m gonna talk the whole time, tho!” Also, “you interfering firebug, how dare you interfere?” Did Lackey bang out this script in 10 minutes?
A transitional period just before the worst period in all of Spider-Man history is probably not a good place to be. Things haven’t exactly been great this block. For crying out loud, a Tom DeFalco Mysterio story is the best thing I’ve read so far, that’s not a high bar. Mayhem is right back up instantly somehow and after them again, so they don’t break through quite yet. John assures Spider-Man that that door will hold until they can get their systems back online, and then of course, the baddies blow it open. Gross. Negligence. Spidey just says, “I’ll save the REALLY sarcastic stuff for later,” and that’s pretty good. Then it’s fightin’ time.
Bingham has largely avoided his style being smothered by Palmer so far, but that panel 3 Jameson is totally Palmer’d. Spidey webs the fire guy again and slams him in Mayhem. Jameson almost by accident manages to tranquilize Gale, and she falls on Webber. Spidey has somehow webbed Mayhem into a cell during that, and kicks fire guy in the gut when he tries to attack him from behind, so rather quickly, they’re down to just Shriek to deal with.
Spidey dances around with Shriek for awhile, and then she decides to mentally command the other 3 losers to kill him (Like they weren’t already trying to????), and then…
What kind of insane dialogue is that from Spider-Man?? That is the panel from the ToC, by the way. Why on Earth did they lead with that?
HOW have Shriek and the others been locked up? By WHOMST? When? Where were the invisible helpers during all of the preceding? UGH.
What an absolute disaster of a story. What is panel 3 on this page? Who even is that? Is that Edward colored wrong? Oh, man. Painful. The next story stars Warrant, and that’s sure enough to make me skip it. It’s drawn by Alex Saviuk, tho, which is a surprise. Then Black Cat gets a 2nd story in an annual this year. They’re about to launch her a solo miniseries, so I guess they want to get some hype going. Mike Lackey writes this one solo, with Sergio Cariello, Keith Williams & Bob Sharen on art. Felicia is swinging home in the snow.
“Her fury may well soil my covert burgling?” What? What is Mike Lackey’s deal?
Fox maces her, grabs whatever he’s after and dips. This leads to a legit great page of chasing. I’ve never heard of Sergio Cariello, but he does a lot with a little space, doing some inventive page layouts, and his stuff is crisp. Felicia catches Fox by landing on top of him, but while she’s yelling at him, some guy runs off with the thing.
Our man Sergio draws women’s faces quite like Brett Blevins. That “eleven” joke hurt me, for real.
She 100% would’ve said “Spider,” not “Peter,” Mike. Well, that’s that. At least the art was interesting. Some lineup on that miniseries. The art team from Arachnis Project and Kavanagh. Woof. Ya know, I am sadly remembering all the mindbogglingly terrible dialogue in AP, which was also Mike Lackey. Ugh, anyway, whatever, final story’s a Prowler one by Joey Cavalieri, Vince Giarrano & Bob Sharen. Cavalieri is the editor of the 2099 books at the moment. I wanna say I saw some of Giarrano’s art in DC Comics around this time. Prowler has apparently been looking into a gang robbing trucks, and now he’s caught them in the act.
Hobie gets shot with a giant 90s gun that goes “ZZAMM!” and somehow just makes him pass out.
What… is this? Prowler has managed to free himself off-panel on the next page, and also is whipping a chain around braining all the goons. That happened way too fast.
Ok! Was that supposed to be the kid from that other annual? I forget which one. Woulda been nice to say. The rest of the issue is pinups, and not particularly exciting ones. The End.