Look at those claws. Starting around the mid-90s, making Wolverine have claws so long that they couldn’t possibly retract back into his arm became fashionable, and it stayed that way. You know, the premise that they’re in there at all is already pretty absurd, and then people were like “What if this was even stupider?” I think the cowards shouldn’t have stopped where they did. If he can have 2 foot claws come out of his hand, why not more? Giant lances. He should be able to extend a claw as far as he needs to. Two miles. Really got for it. I particularly like in X-Men 2, when they show an x-ray of his arm, and they have separated the bones of his wrist to put the claw device there, so he wouldn’t be able to turn his wrist at all. I have a lot of thoughts about this subject, but this isn’t a Wolverine blog… Despite the fact that this post is about Ultimate Wolverine Team-Up #3, now featuring Daredevil. We begin with an absurd sequence of 4 pages that slows down time so we can see Logan frantically stabbing at the missile imbedded in his chest as it propels him into the distance and through the wall of a warehouse. Before it can smash him into a pillar, he sticks his claws in it, and uses them to flip over the missile, then rides the blastwave to safety. I mean, that’s really silly.
I think that was supposed to be a black girl, but Dave didn’t catch it (Probably due to the identical, 100% caucasian features Finch gives every female character). I kind of hope so, anyway, rather than them intentionally having this white rasta girl. Lot of tangents from me tonight!
Spider-Man’s role in this story get minimized from here, so it’s time to go into hurry-up recap mode. Wolverine is recovering in an alley, thinking about the woman who started this, scares off some jerks trying to mess with him, and then meets DD.
DD ninja vanishes as vans pull up and that lady pops out, being really mean, implying Logan is a name Wolverine was given and calling him a dog and “doggy” henceforth. He tries to tear into her goons, and finds out they have “Adamantium reflective alloy” armor. Then she shoots him in the head with an Adamantium bullet. It knocks him out, but doesn’t kill him, so she shoots him a bunch more times. She’s very angry.
She crazy villain monologues about how everyone wants to be famous, how people who’ve done what Wolverine has done don’t get to be famous, and is about to start shooting some more when she gets a billy club to the face. DD tells them to “get out of his kitchen” and that TBC.
This issue opens with, get this, a different X-Man. 4 issues deep! Jean Grey has a nightmare about Logan begging for help beneath the Phoenix. Thing is, she has this nightmare awake, and then falls off her chair at breakfast. She asks the others if they’ve heard from Wolverine, because she thinks he’s in trouble.
Hey, it’s Daredevil’s favorite person! He’s back!
Spider-Man is blasted away from the van (2 guys riding explosion blastwaves in 2 issues!), then finds the others in an alley, motormouthing it to DD’s utter disgust until Wolverine starts healing the bullets out of his forehead.
DD can sense the leader heading up onto a roof, while the others run off in another direction. Logan tells Spider-Man to get him up there. Then we rewind, I guess, to see the lady climbing up onto the roof, and when she gets there…
The arrival of helicopters distracts everyone enough for the lady to sock Logan in the face and run, then the choppers open up with machine guns and ventilate Logan for a 2nd time in this story. This time, tho, he just gets back up as soon as the lady has grabbed a rope ladder and flown off.
Hey, appearing in Ultimate X-Men, it’s the Ultimate X-Men! How ‘bout that? Why is Storm in Lotus position? Namaste, Storm. Nigthcrawler, Kitty Pryde, Colossus. Unlike when they went to the mall, the gang’s all here. We’ll see this story out with another 2-issue post next time.