This issue, we got Mike W. Barr writing with Frank Springer & Mike Esposito on the lines. We begin with Spider-Man flying through the sky above ESU, trying to change clothes in mid-air because he’s late for a conference. That’s an unusual plan. It sorts works. He lands in a bush and finishes there, then it’s on to the “Gamma Therapy for The Mentally Ill” Conference. The… the what?? This doesn’t sound like a good idea! I’m not alone in thinking that, as the conference is just calling up an unscheduled speaker, Dr. Delia Childress. I don’t know who she is, but she’s got a leg brace on and the sight of her seems to spook Dr. Leonard Samson, gamma-irradiated psychiatrist and sometimes superhero (You can tell by the green hair). Dr. Childress is in no way into this topic.
Samson argues that the Hulk is a product of uncontrolled gamma radiation, and that anything taken without control can be deadly. Then he says controlled gamma has benefits before lifting the stage to prove his point. I guess? How does this prove gamma rays will help people with mental problems? I am not the only one skeptical of this either.
Suddenly, Samson seems to lose control of himself, first accidentally smashing his podium, then passing out, then waking up and telling everyone to clear the auditorium so they won’t get hurt. Well, he’s got my vote on the safety of gamma radiated people. As the crowd becomes a mob, Peter notices his Spider Sense suggests danger is in the projection booth, so he swaps clothes…
Imagine you’re some tough guy who goons for supervillains for a living. The job’s going ok. And then Spider-Man swings through a window and says “Yay! Chocolate pudding tonight!” What do you even think? How do you respond? I mean, you say “get him!” or something like that, because you’re a goon, but what do you THINK? Spider-Man must be a crazy person, what is he talking about? Anyway, he whups some goons and notices they were pointing some kind of ray at Samson, but then someone we can’t see knocks Spidey on the head and runs for it. Spidey recognizes him, but we’ll have to wait a bit to see who it is. Have you seen this issue’s cover? I have a suspect. Samson rushes in, and Spidey tells him he thinks the thingie was designed to “enhance the activity of some sort of radiation,” but his attacker crushed it. Samson thinks he’s right, and wonders how he knows so much about science, but then Delia comes in and they argue some, forgetting all about Spider-Man.
Weird transition, Pete! If you don’t know, you’ve probably guessed that Doc Samson is a Hulk character. I’m not much of a Hulk guy, so I don’t know much about him, either. But he clearly has a history with this woman, and I suspect he’s the reason she has to wear a brace. Kind of a surprise she’d go to lunch with him. Peter follows them, worried Samson will be attacked again, but they go fancy, and Peter Parker can’t afford fancy. Delia tells Samson their history together so we can hear it. Awkward. He and her father apparently used to make her do things like scuba diving and fencing and wouldn’t let her do anything she wanted to do, and one say she got so mad when her dad told her she wouldn’t like riding motorcycles that she accidentally crashed one into a tree, ruining her leg. Uh… ok? Like, Samson and her Dad seem like jerks, for sure, but how is it Samson’s fault she crashed a motorcycle when he wasn’t around? I was totally on your side before that, Delia! She walks out on him, so he heads off to talk to Peter’s class. But he loses control again. Then he rips out of his clothes, says no one can control him, and…
…and this dingus smashes through who knows how many floors of the science building at ESU to make himself feel better while launching into orbit, I guess. Frank Springer is not concerned with realism in any way. Guys, I hate Doc Samson. We see two guys who obviously used the ray on Samson in a window worrying what he’ll do, and then…
I begin to think Frank Springer has gone AWOL on this job, and Mike W. Barr is desperately trying to salvage it. Look at Spider-Man working really hard to make it not seem batshit crazy what Samson’s doing right now. Holy crap. Spidey corrals the goons. Samson thinks Peter Parker set him up because no one else knew he’d be talking to Peter’s class, as if no one else could see him walking in there. Spider-Man figures Delia is setting him up. Then The Rhino attacks.
Samson just gets knocked out for his troubles (Who cares who’s fought him “most recently?”) so it’s time for a classic Spidey vs. Rhino fight. Someone’s hitting Samson with the ray right now, making him weak, and while Spidey dances with his old enemy…
Spider-Man knocked out, Delia loads Samson into a helicopter and makes off with him. Wow, this is a weird one.
Oh no. Oooooh no. Oh this is so bad. Samson called her “Delilah” earlier. You know, like Samson and Delilah. And now she’s got him chained to two pillars. Are you serious, Mike w. Barr? Are we really doing this? Also, not for nothin’, but I bet one American dollar that if, back in the lunch scene, she’d said, “Hey, how’d you get your powers?” he would’ve told her everything. Supervillains, man. Always taking the long way. Spidey wakes up back on campus, and makes himself a gamma tracer to figure out where Samson went. Then Springer draw Spider-Man swinging, like, in orbit above the city for the 2nd time this issue…
..and he’s in the right place. Descending into tunnels beneath Central Park, Spidey find the AIM facility. Spidey finds and cuts the power to the “mind-probe,” then lays into the assembled muscle waiting for Samson to get his strength back. You can guess how that goes.
Yes. I would say too much like another Samson, sir. Samson knocks out Rhino and then stops Delia from electrocuting herself to death.
Aaaaalright. I still don’t know why everyone agrees Delia driving a motorcycle into a tree because he Dad told her she couldn’t is Samson’s fault, but I am ready to be done with this, so that’s fine. Whew. This was a rough one.