Richard Isanove colors this one solo. This one opens on a 2-page splash of the host of Krakoa Island showing clips from the X-Men story that preceded this one (The excellent Stuart Immonen, presiding), to get us into the right mindset. The host’s name is “Augustus Beezer.” Around this time, Marvel was having a surprise minor hit with a little kid character named Gus Beezer teaming up with various superheroes, so that is a really hilarious joke in 2006. I feel like trotting out my usual complaint that any story with the X-Men in it is an X-Men story. This is an X-Men story guest-starring Spider-Man. In a Spider-Man comic. You never see the X-Men get pulled into a fight with someone else’s bad guys or whatever. The X-Men are a black hole that pulls in other properties.
Why Bendis went with “Wadey Wilson” is beyond my ken, but here we see the only thing I remember about this story, “no backs.” People all over the comics internet were baffled by this phrase. What does it mean? Is it a typo? Bendis said it’s a thing people say. No one believed him. And, you know, in the intervening years, I actually have heard the phrase “no backsies.” But never “no backs.” We’re all fronts around here. We continue with 2-page spreads with a big group shot for half and “Wadey” on TV, talking like a really incongruous cross between a surfer bro and a TV cartoon southern racist as he extols the virtues of his gang, the genetic abominations of their opponents, and lies about the X-Men being caught in international waters so as not to break any laws. And, crucially, not being funny. Even, like, “it’s supposed to be funny, it just isn’t.” Bendis has disregarded basically everything about Deadpool. Which, in most cases, I would expect to be an improvement, but this guy doesn’t really have much going for him. Pre-taped Deadpool continues his racist tirade as live Deadpool fights Nightcrawler, telling him he should’ve listened to Cyclops and run away.
I just want to know what voice Bendis heard in his head writing this for “Wadey,” because to me, it’s almost like a different voice every individual panel. Spidey saves Kitty from a huge explosion as the camera moves around the island, getting a chance to see Cyclops blast a bunch of the goons and yell at them. But then Deadpool punches him in the face so hard his visor comes off, and then a helicopter goon trying to shoot Angel gets his chopper stolen by Nightcrawler. The baddies blow it up, but he gets away. Then there’s a segment on the show giving background on Spider-Man and speculating about whether he’s a mutant, then more of them spying on him & Kitty, except they see the camera this time, and Spider-Man kinda freaks out.
This entire issue is 2-page spreads and it is vexing me.
Certainly not what you expect to see under Deadpool’s mask. I bet it’s a fake out, but I don’t remember…