Suddenly, Clayton Crain. His really jarring digital painting style has never appealed to me. It’s weirdly artificial looking. He came to prominence on symbiote-related comics. And, like, this cover isn’t so bad, I guess, but once we get inside…
First of all, hilarious he’s credited as “penciler” for doing the entire art gig. I sure hope he was actually paid for colors, if not credited for them. But there’s a harshness, an unreality to what he does that I just don’t like. An uncanny valley-type thing. Anyway, “I saw you die and be reborn. For the second time in the last few months, but everyone’s kind of pretending the other one didn’t happen. Even though you still have the organic webshooters you got from it. Who cares, really?” Spider-Man and Madame Web recap at each other what’s going on for 2 pages, and also recap why Spider-Man’s costume looks weird. Every writer who doesn’t embrace the recap page is wasting your time, in my opinion.
Midtown high had a “mythology class?” Your tax dollars at work, I suppose. Well, check this out:
Puma! When’s the last time we saw Puma? Answer: Spider-Man Unlimited #15, nearly 10 years prior to this issue! Hope he’s been getting some rest. Well, Puma convinces her to attack him, but instead of “fighting,” she just socks him in the jaw once and that’s it. A very 2020s “fight scene,” ahead of its time! He says the urge builds up in them over time, and this won’t keep it at bay for long.
HIGH SCHOOL PALEONEUROLOGY????? Is that supposed to be a joke or something? Reed has decided none of the people acting out are at fault for it (DUH!), and then hits upon radiation as a cause, noting the Baxter Building is protected. Back outside, Puma is telling Black Cat his deal, and lets us know he’s not turned into Puma in a long time (Since SMU 15?), but he was at a board meeting and he felt it coming, had to flee before someone got hurt. And then he shredded a dog in an alley. We have fun.
The Lizard looks a lot like “the Crocodile” now. He gets attacked by Vermin and they fight for 3 pages. That seems like it shoulda happened in the sewer, but they’re at the mercy of the plot, I suppose.
Must pause to acknowledge an ad for X-Men Fairy Tales #1, “all-new stories based on classic Japanese fairy tales!” written by CB Cebulski, noted Japanese writer impersonator, now doing it under his own name. So funny. So stupid. Vermin was not dead, as you well know, Spider-Man. Wonder if Aguirre-Sacasa was aware of a story called “Death of Vermin” and just left it there.
Why’s Spider-Man cracking wise all of a sudden? The oppressive edgelord tone seems to have drained out of this story for no apparent reason. Spidey hoped Vermin would come at him to push them all into the water, which Spider-Man can breathe in now, thanks to his suit, so he’s fine as they cool off. Emerging from the drink, Spider-Man sees… well, this…
I think trying to make super-serious Ebony Darkness Dementia Raveway sadface comics while also having to type the phrase “Dr. Vincent Stegron” is funnier than any Spider-Man one-liner. Let’s wrap this stupid crap up next time.