Could this story finally get around to starting this issue? I have been conditioned to assume not. Well, it begins with Spider-Man leaving Avengers Tower and swinging across town to get his paycheck, waxing philosophical about life and death and how every little thing feels beautiful now that he’s dying, and we catch Morlun observing him. Also, Deodato does this incredibly obvious John Romita, Jr. swipe. He swipes all the time, but this one seems egregious. Anyway.
Remember when Peter was a teacher? I seem to. Hudlin doesn’t. And look, he even worked in Laurie Lynton. “My run counts!” Wonder what celeb she is. Spider-Man smashes Morlun over the head with a desk and an object that might be a computer monitor, I guess, then bolts out the window, determined not to die in the Daily Bugle. Morlun gives chase, and Spider-Man, in freefall, webs Morlun’s head and swings him down, increasing his momentum so he’ll hit the sidewalk like a missile. But shouldn’t he realize he can’t stop Morlun? And why is Morlun after him if we established both that Spider-Man is poison to him and Ezekiel is who he was really supposed to go for? Morlun, obviously, is unfazed. Spider-Man lures him into ESU. Also Deodato swipes a Ross Andru(!) and then a John Byrne Chapter One cover that Buckingham used a dozen times, I am programmed to recognize it.
Morlun spends 3 pages throwing Spider-Man through walls and pillars and stuff, until they end up back outside, where he keeps on really beating the crap out of our hero.
Who’s that guy in the middle? Steve Rogers? Spider-Man then spends 3 pages beating the crap out of Morlun. It’s so funny to me, stuff like this. Morlun completely demolishes a Spider-Man incapable of defending himself… But then Spidey gets his 2nd wind or something, and does the same to Morlun. Feels very realistic. Anyway, he thinks he’s winning, and then Morlun says he’ll tell Spider-Man’s family he did his best…
Well, ya don’t see that happen everyday.
So, like, you know for a fact they wouldn’t kill Spider-Man. And you know they wouldn’t leave Spider-Man with one eye. So how does this end? You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But, as someone who just kind of heard what happens and skimmed issues in a store almost 20 years ago, I’m kind of puzzled by when things are happening. Anyway, JMS gets to take over this debacle for the next 3 issues. Five whole issues of complete filler in this event! Truly disrespectful. Very, very Maximum Carnage.