This issue is out the same month as ASM 524. I’ve caught USM up to the mainline books. Not that that matters, I just like to keep the context handy. Black cat glamor shot for the cover. Boy, that’s a dated reference, isn’t it? To open, yet another teacher we’ve never seen before is taking roll, and guess what, Peter Parker is not there. He’s missed way too much school in the last 9 months to make it out of 10th grade alive, I’m just sayin’. Then it’s back to the fight, where Hammerhead is doing a terrible job of flirting with Black Cat when he tries to execute Spider-Man. But…
Thrilling adventure!
Boy, that cop down there is in trouble. Every cop but De Wolfe in this story shooting first and asking questions never is very realistic. De Wolfe questions a shopowner enough to make sure Spider-Man didn’t, you know, do any of this, and then starts laying into the assembled cops to do their jobs. And all this is being videotaped by a cab driver named Steven Grant. And we know who that is! He stays long enough to see the Enforcers getting arrested, then lights out of there fast enough to get pulled over if the cops weren’t so busy. Meanwhile, on the next page:
This is 1000% funnier when Spider-Man is 15.
And I had no idea how like the OG Black Cat stories this was as a callow youth (of 27) when this first came out.
You can just imagine where this is going. Presumably around that moment, in SoHo, Steven Grant comes home to a guntotin’ lady called Marlene. We (Rather awkwardly) learn about Moon Knight’s split personalities as they talk about how he was there to get Hammerhead himself when the fight broke up, and he wound up just watching. Then we go find Peter arriving home, basking in the glow of making out with an absurdly hot adult woman, thinking he’s not currently dating MJ, and maybe dating someone who could handle his Spider-Man life would be ok, which is all very familiar, except, you know, he’s 15. He’s still decompressing as Aunt May arrives home. They have a fun little chat about dinner, then she runs to the bathroom while Peter checks the messages on the phone, and deletes one for her about him skipping school. Smooth move.
Man, this arc is such a massive improvement over everything since USM 64. The fast pace, the huge cast, the gang war, Black Cat, Peter’s school problems sure to boil over any second. Just as I felt back in the day, it’s really, really good. USM is back on top.