We’re back with PPSM, but we’ve got a 2-part story by a guest team starting this month. Behind that handsome Kyle Baker cover is a story written by Zeb Wells, colored by Steve Buccellato, and drawn by Jim Mahfood! This was meant to be a bit of a quirky one, and I guess Mahfood’s work on UMTU made him the guy for it. Zeb Wells… It’s weird, I don’t remember what his bona fides were at this time. I can’t find it online, either. I feel like he’d done something, like a fan film or something, that got him in the door at a few places. He’d end up doing a lot of TV, working on things like Robot Chicken. But I feel like he’d done something that got him this gig. Can’t remember what, tho’. Well, anyway:
Really taking it to Mtv on page one. And more specifically…
…really taking it to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. “Tiffany Gibson” is a pretty savage criticism for anyone old enough to get it. Later that night they’re arguing about who should be more popular on the beach when Johnny is completely absorbed into the sand. Sand, eh? Remember where we left Sandman in PPSM 22? I’m sure that will be relevant. I do actually kinda remember this one. Meanwhile, Peter Parker is flipping through the channels, bored at home. Could Peter Parker afford cable? Like… ever? Seems unlikely. He winds up on Mtv, sorry, Sonic News.
Backstage, a lady is directing traffic so Wells can make more jokes about celebrities like “Maria Kelly” and, really upping the ante, “Crisco”…
The longer I sit with this… I feel like all these jokes are like 2 years after the fact. When was “Thong Song?” Yes, “Thong Song” was 2000. Justin Timberlake was already a solo artist by 2002, his romance with Britney Spears long a thing of the past. Really hitting the current events, here, Zeb. Peter watches as Zeb Wells makes up an entire fake verse to “Thong Song” and Crisco leaps down onto the beach, only to be grabbed by a giant fist of sand and disappear. Despite having a cold, he decides he has to go down there and see what’s going on. SO, soon, Spider-Man is just walking into Mtv Spring Break, in costume, among the rabble, which is pretty funny. That lady runs up asking if he wants to be part of the show, but obviously, he has other plans.
The Kid Rock reference is even more stale than the rest of it. Did Zeb Wells’ cable get disconnected in 2000? All these “sick burns” on pop culture things people had already forgotten about don’t seem like they would land very well. I don’t actually remember how I felt about it. Sandman keeps reliving bits of his life as Spider-Man is forced to switch into swimwear if he wants to remain on the premises.
The already dated Mtv jokes and general “young punks, get off my lawn” vibe of this comic continues for 2 more “hilarious” pages before Maria Kelly hitting her famous high notes upsets Sandman enough to turn him into a sand tsunami, swallowing up the whole dancing crowd.
I’m not sure I can make it through part 2 of this. I mean, not liking trends in pop culture is pretty natural, but swinging his bat a so many dusty references doesn’t exactly make Zeb seem too hip by comparison. There’s a lot of pop culture stuff I don’t like, too, but I wouldn’t decide to make anyone sit through 48 pages of Spider-Man comics about it. But then, Zeb Wells will prove no stranger to poor story choices in Spider-Man comics… But as usual… I’m getting ahead of myself.