The “Wizard ½” was a gimmick running through the prominent comics magazine of the same name where they’d issues these specials in conjunction with the various publishers as collectibles. They came with a certificate of authenticity, even. Today, even a grossly overpriced CGC 9.6 is on eBay for $65, and a normal one could be yours for $9. Not exactly gonna put your kids through college. I wonder if any of these dumb things actually became valuable. I don’t think I was even aware of this issue when it was released. I read it in a big hardcover collection of the first years of the title and was surprised. I eventually tracked down a single issue, since it bugged me to have a complete set but for that. But part of the sales pitch here is it’s a completely original USM story by the regular creative team, it’s kind of a big deal in 2002. The digital painting treatment on Spidey’s head here is really aggressive. The eyes just kind of blend to mush.
It’s weird to see the Bugle staff discussing a photo of Spider-Man Peter didn’t take, but that’s Ultimate for ya. Ben explains that the lady in the photo was chased out of a store by an overly aggressive employee accusing her of stealing some baby shoes. The employee threw her up against a wall, like a totally cool and rational person, and then a big muscle guy from the store came out and started trying to pull the store twerp off the lady. And that, Ben says, is when things got a little weird.
Heck of a shot by Bags!
So whoever that is (Betty? I didn’t think she did this kind of work in Ultimate) says that Danny Rand gave a statement and was released, and the cop friend said he looked disillusioned about becoming a superhero. JJJ says run it on the front page with the headline “Spider-Man Sneaker Sucker Punch!” Ben objects, and says he’s got another set of witness statements. And Benbegins to read Spider-Man’s side of the story to an increasingly incredulous newsroom. Saying he was 7 stories up when he heard screaming and went down to investigate. He gave Ben a speech not unlike the one in ASM 22 about why he wears a mask and how he tries to help people despite what they say about him, and when he showed up, he could only assume the guy with the glowing hand was the problem.
As unusual as the Spidey up top of this page is, it wound up being reused a lot in ads and things.
So, did Ben really get a statement from Spider-Man, or was he just trying to change some minds? We may never know. The rest of the book is various peeks into Mark Bagley’s sketchbook, with some handwritten comments, like one saying Ultimate Gwen should be a “younger, prettier Madonna.” There’s some silly stuff, like his Electro dressed as “Electo-Lad,” as if he was in DC’s Legion of Superheroes, and a very funny Kingpin in a supervillain costume with tights. Some Spider-Men, some Green Goblins, and a look for Kraven. And then there’s this…
Comic book artists have a long history of drawing sexualized images of characters who’re supposed to be underage. Far worse than this was being done right around this time, I think, with the incredibly skeevy comics introduction of X-23, among other things. But to lampshade how creepy you’re being… sheesh! I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before. I guess I had little reason to open this once I got it, having read the story in a collection. Sheesh. In the mid-2010s, Bags would take over drawing Fantastic Four, and redesign the all-white suits the team had adopted in the previous run. I met him at a con and mentioned I liked his designs, and he very grumpily said he had to fix Sue because Marko Djurdejvic had drawn tiny underwear onto her pants as part of the seams and details, and it just pointlessly sexualized the suit. Mm hm. Maybe he’d just grown some by then…