We’re down to the 2nd-to-last issue. This book has chopped up and disrespected a whole pile of classic comics to cram all they wanted to cram into it. Truly important comics have been cut in half repeatedly. And yet, Byrne gives AN ENTIRE ISSUE to Spider-Man’s appearance in Tales to Astonish 57. EGGHEAD!!! Including this AT ALL is wasting the reader’s time, and THIS gets more attention than the first appearance of The Green Goblin?? THIS was worth not bothering to introduce the Enforcers at all? THIS was worth Peter Parker’s life being cut out of his own book? EGGHEAD!!!!! I am flabbergasted. Genuinely. This is patently insane. And historically inaccurate. This story was published the same month as ASM 14. It shouldn’t happen this late. AND this ruins the crazy amount of Untold Tales issues Busiek crammed into ASM 17-19, which is less important, but still noteworthy. There is literally no reason for this to get adapted, let alone get a whole issue to itself. Dreadful. Joe Rosas colors this one. Egghead is reading about how Spider-Man fled from his fight with Green Goblin in the paper.
If there’s one thing people reading Chapter One care about, it’s Egghead’s beef with Giant-Man. This is just unbelievable. Can you imagine this in the hands of the new readers it’s allegedly meant for?
1998 and Hank’s still giving Jan orders like she’s his employee instead of his girlfriend. Jan attacks, Spidey snares her in his web without even knowing what’s happening, she radios Hank for help. At least he doesn’t call her a “little fool” this time, but don’t worry, he’s still plenty condescending. Hank shows up for the fight and then we check in with Egghead. The whole notion that Peter’s too scared to be Spider-Man for Aunt May’s sake is right out the window. It was such a unique and interesting hook.
The heroes fight, the cops call in reinforcements, Egghead can now go steal the armored car, more or less as before. I guess I’m just not going to get over this. Meanwhile, the heroes stop fighting somewhat faster than the first time.
“Why can’t you stop expecting 2 people who attacked you without reason to attack you, Spider-Man?” The action goes pretty much as before. Egghead is the one to try to swat Wasp with a newspaper instead of a goon, some of the dialogue’s different, but broad strokes, all the same. Including Wasp pointlessly hating Spider-Man once it’s all over.
Jan’s not really meant to be that much younger than Hank, is she? Man, Byrne loves his age gaps. He revealed Sue Storm and Reed Richards had feelings for each other when he was in college and she was a child, the man’s creepy as can be.
Quick page of “man on the street” discussion of Spider-Man, and then…
With this complete waste of $2.50 down, we’re almost done. I can’t wait. I know the reboot isn’t very good, either, but not much is worse than Chapter One.