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ASM 269

Posted on March 25, 2021April 13, 2020 by spiderdewey

And there shall come a story so terrible, so inexplicable that it will be talked about decades from now, but not in the good way, like you want! The usual gang is on hand as Firelord, one time Herald of Galactus, wielder of The Power Cosmic, Silver Surfer-level powerful being, flies through space when he recognizes Earth from a previous visit. Calling it “a world filled with sensual delight and pleasures unlike any others found in the known cosmos” (Proving the universe is pretty boring!), he dives on down to have some fun. Meanwhile, Peter Parker is having breakfast with Aunt May, Nathan & the boarders in their house, dressed like he did back in the 60s for some reason.

Firelord, of course, who flies to a pizza place and begins destroying it in a very misguided and inefficient way to get the owner to make him some lunch. A construction worker who assumes Firelord is a mutant, and who is also racist against mutants, rushes to his construction site to form a gang of workers to go fight a man who can fly, is on fire, and just melted a pizza oven like it was nothing. Like all racists, this guy is not too sharp. Meanwhile, our hero is leaving breakfast.

He hops up into a tree and changes to Spider-Man. As he swings back downtown, he thinks Nathan is right that he’s not spending enough time with Aunt May, and worries about The Beyonder, still at large. Then his Spider Sense hits him hard again. Firelord is enjoying a pizza as those construction workers bust in and hit him with a firehose. It doesn’t go well.

Spidey manages to get the drop on him and steal his stick, but it fizzles out once it’s out of Firelord’s hands. FL responds by blowing up the whole building Spidey was stuck to. We see a handy sign letting us know it was condemned, but as Spider-Man sets up his next trap, there is no such sign.

How many people just died? No one comments on it. Spider-Man tosses Firelord’s staff in the ocean and runs for it, hoping to reach The FF for help. He spends 2 pages trying to reach them because he forgot their building was recently torn down and he has no idea how to contact them. This is presenting like a shocking twist instead of a waste of pages. Wah wah waaaaah. 

Soooo why not just switch to Peter long enough to reach The Avengers? If you don’t want people to die, why’d you fly Firelord through THREE buildings a minute ago? And how on Earth are you going to win this fight? It don’t add up. This is clearly DeFalco going for a “Nothing Can Stop The Juggernaut” moment, and… well, we’ll see next time.

  • Amazing Spider-Man
  • Aunt May
  • Bob Sharen
  • Firelord
  • Joe Rubenstein
  • Nathan Lubensky
  • Ron Frenz
  • Spider-Man
  • Tom DeFalco
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