I faced an unusual dilemma with this issue. I actually have an original copy. But… it’s graded. I hate comics grading. I hate everything about it. I think it’s an entire cottage industry of vultures. Their only function in comics is to make comics that are already expensive, more expensive. They ensure that these classic books become purely objects, not only comics you probably shouldn’t open, but comics you can’t open, tucked safely in a plastic cage that ensures it’s now “worth more.” It’s a business that makes sure already hard to find issues are completely taken out of the hands of regular people to become one more bauble for the idle rich. Yes, man, I am serious. I hate them so much. But… This graded copy of ASM 13 is quite literally the cheapest one I have ever seen on eBay. Including ungraded ones! It’s in bad shape, as the case implies, only a 0.5. But even nin that condition, the price should’ve been higher than I was willing to pay thanks to this stupid plastic shell encasing it assuring people it’s worth more. And yet, once again, I got something for a steal on eBay. So put off by the grading biz am I that I fully intended to just bust the comic out of the plastic when I got it. I don’t even have somewhere to conveniently store a graded book, it won’t fit in a comic box. This thing’s been laying on top of my boxes since I got it. And yet, when the time came to read it… I hesitated. Would I really gain anything by destroying the plastic case? Especially since I already had this reprint, purchased just months earlier, as luck would have it? In the end, I couldn’t make myself think I was accomplishing anything by opening it up. Now I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it. But, I guess I’ll have to figure that out later. For now, we’re checking out this $1 “True Believers” reprint from 2019. “The greatest villain of all!” Not exactly, Stan! Pretty good cover, tho. All those hooks, what kid in their right mind would have skipped it?
How could he???
Yes, only one answer, and it is that. Also, why is he having this chat with himself in an empty classroom? Rather humorously, Stan’s caption over Peter in the kitchen with Aunt May on the next page is “Minutes later, in the kitchen…” Does Aunt May have a whole classroom in her house we don’t know about? Peter’s a mess, dropping dishes. Aunt May thinks it’s because they’re running out of money, which seems like it wouldn’t be helping. Later, Peter is afraid to sleep, and the next morning, he wakes up to a news report that Spider-Man has struck again. Fully convinced he’s cracked up, he suits up and goes to “the office of a nearby psychiatrist.” The shrink thinks if he can make Spider-Man his patient, he’ll be famous.
All heart, that JJJ. Peter decides to become Spider-Man and try to scare up some news, but he’s hounded by people on the street for being a crook and gives up, no way to make a living and worried he’s a criminal in his sleep.
Unsurprisingly, Ditko’s Mysterio is much weirder and creepier looking than anyone else’s. Something about the way the fishbowl is way too big, and how gangly the figure is, and how the eyes look. It’s the same character, but it’s far more effective. Peter reads the note in the paper, same as everyone else, and thinks maybe this Mysterio can help him find out what’s going on. So he goes to the bridge, and Mysterio announces his intent to destroy him. Very dumb, very in character. Spidey lunges at him, but Mysterio flips through the air on a cloud of his mist and kicks our hero in the back. Mysty dodges Spider-Man’s attacks in unnatural ways, and then dissolves his web like on the cover, before enveloping himself in his mists.
Spider-Man finally wises up and, you know, gets out of that cloud, diving off the bridge and into the water below. Police helicopters are on hand to witness Spider-Man’s defeat and try to bring him in, but he eludes them and dejectedly goes home. The next day, Mysterio is hilariously the guest of honor in a single-car parade down 5th Avenue for having defeated Spider-Man! Just about the only person in New York still on Spider-Man’s side is Flash Thompson, an irony not lost on Peter. Later, Mysterio is at The Daily Bugle, where JJJ introduces him to his staff as a “real crimefighter!” He says Mysterio will defeat Spider-Man for good, and then reveal his identity in a Daily Bugle exclusive. He introduces Mysterio to Peter, who he wants to take pictures of the next fight between Spider-Man and Mysterio, of course. Peter plants a tracer in Mysterio’s cape and then rushes out of the Bugle, making Betty worry he’s off to see another woman. Mysterio vanishes, but outside, Spider-Man’s already getting a ping from his receiver.
Well, that explains everything. Everyone in the world knowing about Spider-Man’s danger sense, and 3 villains now having some gag to do with it, is insane. And what’s that tape gonna prove? He coulda made it himself doing both voices. Well, anyway, Mysterio tries the already tired “fight you inside a Looney Tunes cloud” gimmick, and since the issue’s almost over, this time Spider-Man does the exact same “swing blindly and hope technique,” and it works like a charm on his 4th try, hitting Mysty so hard he goes rolling into a movie set during filming. They battle through the sci fi set, people fleeing in every direction. Spidey shoots a big net web over Mysterio, tricking him into standing still to dissolve it so Spider-Man can sock him again. Mysterio tries to escape with his jumping boots, but Spider-Man’s got his number now, and they chase each other through the set some more.
Mysterio tries the smoke cloud bit yet again, and this time, Spider-Man guesses the spider sense jammer is in the big eyes on his costume, smashing them, and then, in short order, smashing Mysterio.
All’s well that ends well. JJJ even remembered the mortgage. The next issue blurb is a little more detailed than usual, and certainly correct about the surprise guest star. But next issue is a major one for a different reason. First, tho, there’s another Untold to see.