It’s time to bring this saga to its sense-shattering conclusion… or really drop the ball, you can’t know going into these. So, last issue, Spider-Man fell out of the SHIELD Helicarrier, and that’s not a healthy choice for anyone. Inside, Nick Fury (Still dressed as Boomerang), Black Widow/3rd grade teacher Nancy Rushman, and Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu, are desperately trying to fight off a takeover of SHIELD by an evil cabal of villains who intend to kill THE ENTIRE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I means, when has your fave ever? These guys may all be 3rd-string lames (Maybe I’m being unfair to Viper, maybe), but they are swinging for the fences on this one. Nancy/Black Widow suddenly remembers Spider-Man fell out a window and dives out to save him. Using her own web-lines, she shoots one to snag Spidey and another to snag the helicarrier. She says “He hasn’t fallen far.” That’s not how falling works! I mean, the passage of time is one of the great alchemies of comic books, so I can’t say for sure he’s been out there awhile, but it feels like he’s been out there awhile! I’ve seen 2 panels of him falling and 4 panels of people fighting since he went out, that’s a chunk of time. Whatever, time has no meaning for Nancy Rushman.
HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN FALLING? I know the helicarrier is huge. I also know it curves in as it goes down, and they HAVE to have been out there for like 5 minutes by now. Whatever, whatever. Is he gonna fall off now? Who knows, we’re switching scenes. Inside the carrier, Fury & Shang are making short work of the hypnotized SHIELD agents, so Viper closes off the whole helicarrier and fills… I guess all of it with gas. Our heroes get trapped in a hallway, Fury sez one drop of the gas anywhere on your skin and you’ll be out for a week, and 4 panels later, they smash into the bridge, awake. Before that, Viper explains that she knows The President is giving a speech to a joint session of Congress, and that the Supreme Court, the heads of the military, and basically the entire Federal Government is gonna be there, so they’re just gonna crash the Helicarrier into them and be done with this whole “America” thing. What could Carter be announcing that requires this? Are we going to war with the Moon? Anyway, like I said, the boys are back.
Shang-Chi thinking that he’s too busy to narrate for you right now and then an omniscient narrator taking back over is HILARIOUS. I love comics. Fury gets shot in the shoulder, President Carter starts talking about the energy crisis on the TV, and then Spider-Man and 3rd Grade Teacher Nancy Rushman smash in through the window.
All of the panels of Carter saying we can’t keep depending on fossil fuels sprinkled in is, like the weirdest ecology lesson of all time. Edutainment! We focus on Spidey’s battle with Silver Samurai for what seems like a long time given that this story has 3 other protagonists, but Spidey eventually does the ol’ web-in-the-eyes and take shim out. Now we finally get an explanation for Black Widow’s condition, and it makes ZERO sense.
This is, like, 30 years before Grant Morrison gave us Batman’s “back-up personality.” There really are no new ideas.
Things are looking grim! Inside, Spidey is webbing up Fury’s wound, and they hear the engines cut off. Fury sez they can maybe rewire the controls and win, but with only one arm, Spidey will have to do most of the work. Up top of one of the rotors, Widow & Viper lay out the politics…
Then Fury & Spider-Man get things back under control. Which means turning the rotors back on. Right as Viper has been flipped down into them. Widow, now fully herself again in the heat of combat, is trying to help her up, but it’s not use, and Viper is pulled into freefall. Man, how did they bring her back from this? Did she hitch a right with a passing flock of pigeons? I don’t even have “she’s definitely dead” business, I really want to know how they explained her next appearance. Anyway, our heroes get the Helicarrier leveled out before it can kill the government. Good job, guys. If only SHIELD hadn’t provided the murder weapon with its incompetence, we all coulda stayed home, but at least you cleaned up your mess.
That is some super Claremont-y text. And that’s our show! I really liked how this one pulled in so many characters. A really strong use of the premise of this series, just chain-comboing team-ups. It feels like ages since we saw a regular issue of ASM. A lot of multi-part stories to juggle in this stretch of books. We’re getting there, though, and the next one is a major milestone, so it’ll be worth the wait.