Part of the gimmick for this whole thing was each title’s writer wrote a month of parts. So Peter David is parts 1-3 across the 3 titles, then Hudlin, then Strackzynski. Then they all write their own book for the last month. Thus, Peter David is still at the helm as we move into part 2. You might think the art couldn’t get much worse in this title after Billy Tan, but you would be WRONG! Pat Lee is here. Pat Lee wound up being one of 21st Century comics’ great conmen, bursting onto the scene with a heavily anime-influenced look at Image, then doing a really bad Punisher/Wolverine comic, then starting his own company, somehow getting the license to do Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics, while also getting work at Marvel. But then it turned out he’d been passing off other peoples’ work as his own as far back as Image, and also wasn’t paying people, and also making some incredibly shady business moves, and his weird empire collapsed as fast as it appeared. And the thing is, whether he was actually drawing, or whether he just put his name on someone else’s work here, we may never know, but one’s thing’s for sure: It sucks! And here it is! Inks & color are both credited to Dream Engine, which is the company Lee’s brother created that he transferred much of his assets to right before his own company, Dreamwave, filed for bankruptcy. Who knows what poor souls worked on this without being paid? Our opening splash is MJ reading about Spider-Man’s attack on JJJ in the Bugle, unaware that Morlun is right behind her! Egads!
We go to what I guess is a flashback of MJ playing pool with Steve Rogers, asking him why superheroes do what they do, comparing them to Don Quixote.
Man, look at Steve’s face in that last panel. All his features are at different angles, like he’s twisting apart.
We got this guy for 4 whole comics. I could do better than this, and I don’t say that about almost anybody. Back in the present, the play is over, and we learn some obsessed fan of MJ’s has seen it 15 times, including tonight. A conversation about this is interrupted by someone saying Spider-Man is on TV, “maybe getting himself KILLED!” Apparently the Tracer guy now has a flying platform with a bomb on it and is trying to hold the city to ransom. MJ wants to see more, but her coworkers aren’t too interested, so she storms out.
Well, that can’t be good. MJ bursts into a nearby bar and offers the barkeep $20 to let her watch the news. Spider-Man has apparently disarmed Tracer when we’re told Iron Man shows up, but to attack Spider-Man rather than help him.
How utterly devastating for Dave Finch that Pat Lee is the 2nd jobber on this title to understand Adi Granov’s Iron Man helmet better than he does. Who could come back from that? Well, naturally, that’s when MJ’s stalker/fan shows up, and when she won’t let him buy her a drink, he gets mean, and then he pulls a gun on the barkeep for speaking up. You really wouldn’t believe how bad this page looks. Then Chekov’s Pool Cue appears, and MJ uses the twirling she apparently learned from Tom Cruise to beat up her stalker. Good for her, I guess! Who knew she knew kung fu? But when she’s done, one of the bar guys exclaims that Spider-Man must be dead for sure.
She dashes out to get a taxi, and Morlun appears, standing in front of a cab, forcing it to stop for her, and quietly threatening the driver to give her a ride. MJ calls him a lifesaver. He says it’s the first time anyone’s ever called him that as the cab drives off. I know a lot about what happens in this comic, I skimmed several of the issues in the store, but I have no idea what Morlun’s angle with MJ is. Well, I guess MJ has returned home from there, and…
Why on Earth would you stage panel 2 like that?
MJ says she knows his reasons, and it’s survivor’s guilt. She tells him he’s been trying to die in a fight ever since Uncle Ben died, because he’d rather be with his dead uncle than his live wife. She says he wants to die, and she doesn’t know how to live with that. Hey, gang, WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THIS COMING FROM?
This is completely off the rails and we’re only on issue 2! What is going on!? Since when is any of this anything!? Oh man. I am so mad. I bought these on purpose!! Well, yeah, Spider-Man’s dying or whatever, big deal. You don’t launch a brand-new 3rd monthly title about a guy you’re about to kill. But you really wouldn’t believe what happens instead…