Feel like you can safely say this is not a typical Spider-Man cover.
Is… is that the guy from Trigun? The extent of my knowledge of Trigun is basically that the main character looks like that.
Why would Peter be out of place in… the fashion industry? He’s been around it more than the average person! Many comic writers seem to agree Peter Parker does not drink alcohol. Some of them will depict him having a drink at a special occasion. JMS just had him and MJ getting drunk for their celebration. Ennis thinks he’s gonna get lit up to make it through this event.
The mysterious “Skye” has unseated Cissy Ironwood as Peter’s weirdest girlfriend. This conversation would seem to make it clear they’ve been out several times. How bizarre. At the same time, in this age where continuity doesn’t matter anymore, it’s not that interesting. Finding out about Cissy Ironwood blew my mind. “Skye” doesn’t count. Well, whatever epithet Peter chose puts an end to that, as we see him walking alone in the rain. Suddenly, “Ms. Patton” appears before him, this story’s villain wearing her skin, at least, spinning up a sob story about her boyfriend kicking her out and she thought Peter seemed like a nice guy so she found his info in the Bugle’s records &etc. Peter, of course, takes her in immediately, saying she can stay with him tonight and she’ll feel better in the morning. Carl the monster man flashes back to brutally bullying Peter some more, and then we’re in his apartment.
So, our man next appears as Spider-Man, and “Ms. Patton” next appears crawling down the side of a building in a completely inhuman, broken up manner, announcing itself as “The Thousand.” Hey, like the title! It flings itself at Spider-Man, wrapping its busted legs around his neck and throwing him into a water tower with them. Big T makes it clear how much it knows about Peter and Spider-Man as he gets up and asks how.
Spidey doesn’t get into horror stories too often, so this is at least unique.
Fifth year?? Non-American spotted! But, yeah, not only was Jessica Jones there when Peter got bit, so was Carl! AND THAT’S NOT ALL, tho it’ll be awhile before anyone else is added. It’s a busy room! Carl goes on to detail how he followed Peter out of the demo, saw him discover his powers, saw him fight Crusher Hogan, saw him crawl out his window as Spider-Man, etc. He’s seen it all. This is highly improbable to me. Seems like he woulda just sold Peter’s identity to the news to ruin his life way before now.
Well, I guess that’s it for our hero. A grim fate to end his storied career. Come back next time for the new adventures of Carl.