I weirdly don’t remember how this was all going for me back in the day. I remember the story, I remember what happens, but was I into it? Over it? Did I know what was coming (Presumably, even the letter columns have been talking about the relaunch)? But I have no memories of my reactions except to one big thing. Somehow, the credits for SM 96 got on the cover of this issue, and it’s actually produced by John Byrne and the regular art team. We open on Norman with that guy he got the one fragment from, Maxwell, yelling into a phone at “Franklin” that he better deliver by midnight.
That seemed like a random bit of detail! I’m sure it’s not going to matter later. I guess they’re running out of things to pad this out with, because we spend a shocking 4 pages with 2 cyclists who see Spider-Man swinging by and decide to follow him because he’s cool, prattling about their lives as if they’re actual characters, until they see him land and go stop a robbery in a bodega.
Ok, that’s that. But meanwhile…
MJ getting rich again? That can’t possibly be good news in a book where torturing the main characters is a way of life! The cyclists continue to follow Spidey and he ruminates about using his power to help regular people (And as Luke Ross swipes a McFarlane panel for old times’ sake). Then Spidey happens upon that most heinous of crimes, some bullies stealing some kids’ basketball, and intervenes.
Spider-Man: Hoop Life, a 12-issue maxiseries coming next fall from We Have To Fill These Pages Somehow Productions. Spidey gives the kids their ball back and threatens the bullies one more time, and then Luke Ross really pulls out the stops in the swipe game by using a Rick Leonardi Spider-Man 2099 to draw Spider-Man 1998. Probably didn’t think anyone would notice. You failed to reckon with my insane memory for Spider-Man drawings, Luke. It’s the very picture I myself swiped for my drawing after block 36! But, of course, I’m doing it as an homage and happy to tell everyone it’s a copy, not passing it off as professional work. We’re still following those cyclists, and still seeing how their recklessness is causing havok all over town as they try to keep up with our man, now causing a multiple car crash that they run from in a panic… until they find themselves pedaling right into a big web.
Rrrrrrrather harsh, Spidey! Everybody means at least squat! Sheesh. Not since Len Wein has Spider-Man been so mean in the course of his job. Not that I’m terribly shocked. Day saved, our man webs on home.
Who could it be? You’d literally never guess, because it’s a brand-new character. What a rip off. Well, the only person who made “choices” in this issue was MJ, who seemed to have already made her choice. And without even talking to her husband? I mean, not that she needs his permission or anything, but I think you’d want to both be on the same page. This issue had 4 pages related to the event it claims to be a part of. What a crock. But , for whatever reason, they had decided when these titles were gonna end, and this one needed one more issue first, so… there it goes. Next time: the end of the beginning of the end.