Stop trying to make Warrant happen! On the splash, a ludicrously written biker gang possibly called The Pipers is menacing some people in a car in Colorado as The Lizard looks on, while Warrant is suiting up to go find him. Then on a 2-page spread, Lizard attacks the bikers as Warrant continues to suit up. Throughout, Kafka and her new boss Reynard discuss the merits of trying to save Curt Connors. What do they have to do with this? He was in The Vault, not Ravencroft.
I have forgotten The Lizard’s last appearance. All I can think of is that SMU from the last 1998 block. ASM 365. Was Kafka part of that? I don’t even recall. The dialogue in this book is as insane as the plot so far. Liz tears through more bikers, causing one to flee, then, in a particularly confusing page, chases that one down and then immediately appears clawing onto the bottom of that couple’s car to hitch a ride, which is patently absurd in 2 ways. Unless there’s 2 Lizards, this doesn’t make any sense. Meanwhile, Reynard, Kafka and Warrant are looking at Calypso’s corpse in the morgue for no reason at all, and Warrant says he’s gonna kill The Lizard and “overkill is best of all.” Sure, man… whatever… Let’s go check in with characters that don’t suck…
As Betty forces her way into the conversation, Peter sees a fax come in (A fax!) about The Lizard, and runs off to become Spider-Man. You gonna swing to Colorado, buddy? Meanwhile, on a plane, we find Kafka is the one who leaked Lizard’s escape to the press via fax, and then some truckers find the car he was clinging to in bits on the road, and The Lizard sneaks into their trailer. Back in New York, Spider-Man’s swinging to The Connors’ apartment, recapping his history with Curt. He finds them watching the news about Lizard, Martha freaking out, and creeps right in their window without telling them! Just stands there watching them have an emotional moment.
The Fingrothening has begun as MJ’s on edge after something that happened in ASM 386, which this comic absolutely cannot take place after. It’s 1984 all over again. I cannot believe they let that guy back in. Well, she’s jumping at shadows in her new home, wishing Peter was there. Gonna be a while, MJ. He’s swinging home when that tracer he gave Billy goes off already, and swings back to find Warrant menacing one of the most traumatized families in all of comics, demanding to know where The Lizard is. What a cool guy.
Warrant and Spider-Man set to destroying the Connors’ apartment for a bit, endangering them repeatedly as they do, until the ceiling collapses.
Oh, the 90s. You have aged so very poorly in almost all regards. This nonsense wraps up next time.