In the back of my mind, this story has me wondering what the rules of my Spider-Man drawings are. Do have to draw the 40 billion people in this story? They’re not really relevant to Spider-Man. I dunno, maybe we’ll see. Kinda funny Sasquatch wasn’t in the Alpha Flight comic but will apparently be in this. “Nightwatch Vs. Deathgrin!” Our obscure Spawn knockoff vs. a guy made up on the last page of last issue whose name you likely do not know, prospective buyer! Excited? Well, anyway, Spider-Man’s shadowed tormentors from last issue are revealed here as warped versions of Green Goblin, Venom, Carnage, The Goddess, JJJ, Aunt May, Uncle Ben & MJ. Sometimes warped unnecessarily. Like Venom is wearing tatters of Spidey’s red & blues. Why? I don’t know. But then we see what he’s really fighting is Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Multiple Man, Thor, Sasquatch, Gamora, Moon Knight, Sue Richards, and Archangel. Sheesh. That’s a lot more people than he’s imagining.
Thor, of all people, a literal god, being conned into this seems like a hard sell. Peter/Spider-Man decides this isn’t real, but wonders why he’s seeing MJ as her vixen character from Secret Hospital. Good question! She/Gamora distracts him so Archangel/Green Goblin can attack. The ensorcelled heroes keep loudly saying who they are, but Peter/Spider-Man doesn’t hear them for some reason. The heroes dogpile on Spider-Man, but he tosses them all off pretty easily. They keep yelling each others’ names, he keeps yelling the names of his loved ones, no one notices anything amiss. This sucks.
This feels rather more 80s than 90s. Aunt May tries to turn the conversation to her absent nephew, so MJ diverts to letting her exposit about his newly returned parents. Then we cut to ESU, where Betty Brant is flirting with a security guard to enable…
So, rather than having an affair, Robbie & Betty have teamed up to take down JJJ’s wife? This is weird. Especially since I have to assume it comes to nothing, as Marla & JJJ remain happily married for decades from this. Well, back in space, Spider-Man’s still fighting people for no obvious reason. Due to the cutting from what Spider-Man sees and what’s actually happening, they conveniently don’t show us how Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Thor and Sue Ricahrds are defeated in a single panel? Spidey sees a roof collapse on his loved ones (And The Goddess), but they were fighting in the open air in real life. Then he just leaves. Man, this is a mess. He doesn’t get far before Moon Knight and Multiple Man are after him, as Venom & Carnage.
This is literal nonsense. I really hope it would’ve made sense if I read Infinity Crusade. But I kind of think it wouldn’t. Shame on them for such a terrible tie-in. If yer gonna let an event interrupt my regular purchase, you better make it make sense for me. This isn’t even trying. The rest of the book, Nightwatch fights “Deathgrin” and then he gets away, but they promise the final battle is coming next issue. Yay.