Venom and his pals! Spider-Man who? This feels like someone was like “Kids like Venom & Carnage, we have to make sure their names are on the cover.” “But… but they are, themselves, on the cover..?” “We need the names!!” Well, anyway, at The Statue of Liberty, Carnage is still torturing Venom, and Carrion is watching, and Shriek is not, which seems odd. And then Doppelganger and Demogoblin are smashed through the wall… despite it being, like metal… by Morbius and Nightwatch, who I don’t think are actually that strong. Shriek is not here. Where did she go? Meanwhile, the other heroes (Minus Cloak and Black Cat, who I guess are still knocked out from last issue) are zooming around telling each other the plot, saying they have to find the source of the madness gripping the city. Saying, explicitly, that it’s the only thing that matters right now, as if stopping the roving band of super serial killers has slipped their minds. And then they find the source. It’s Shriek, standing on a rooftop, shrieking. But she was with Carnage. If she’s “the source,” how does any of this make sense? Oh, it doesn’t? Ok, then. We take a look at the book’s supporting cast watching on TV, MJ joining the others in time to see the heroes engage Shriek. Who’s shooting this, they’re right there.
Despite the fact that Shriek was, IMPOSSIBLY, holding off 4 superheroes all by herself, Captain America hits her with his shield and she is knocked out, boom, simple. None of the fights in this story make a shred of sense. Because if they did, it couldn’t last 14 issues. Now the heroes are wondering where the other baddies are.
Nightwatch notices the sun is coming up and that’s bad for Morbius, so he grabs him and they take off. Carnage tells the others to go find Shriek, then forms Wolverine claws for I think a 2nd Bagley issue in a row to continue menacing Venom. The fact that he’s not killed Venom yet is completely absurd. It’s so obvious Venom is still alive solely because he’s a main character. And the other heroes, too, for that matter, as many times as the villains have had them dead to rights and just left in this miserable nonsense.
10 MB of RAM and an 80 MB harddrive! State of the art! Iron Fist happening to find a martial artist to shame is so, so funny. And would the general public really know who Deathlok is???
Spidey’s got his groove back. Which is good, since his wavering faith was entirely unconvincing. Which isn’t to say it couldn’t have been convincing, but not in this story. Not in this complete waste of time. Shriek wakes up and finds herself webbed to a pole, but Demo & Doppel show up and free her. So then Cap, Iron Fist & Deathlok rush in to fight them. The fight briefly goes the way it should, with Cap shouting orders and the heroes working as a team, but inevitably, Evil Team gets the upper hand despite being a bunch of losers. Spider-Man jumps in, saying he wishes they had some reinforcements despite it being 5-3, heroes, as a segue for us to go see Black Cat, who is so badly beaten she was sensible enough to go home (And feel bad about it), and Cloak, who’s returned to the church where Dagger died, thinking he’s sure the key to defeating Evil Team is there, but he doesn’t know what it is. Gee, what could it be?
Yes, these 3 losers had Spider-Man, Captain America, Iron Fist, Firestar & Deathlok “on the ropes.” This is like 70s comics, when the most pathetic villains were treated like terrifying threats in the hopes no one would notice how lame they were. But the battle for the soul of the city, or whatever, has been won by the heroes. Sure are laying it on thick. I especially like “We’re good people, most of us! I mean, not that guy, but most of us!”
Even MJ feels better! Maybe this is where she stops smoking, I can’t remember. But don’t worry, this dumb story has 3 more issues, it’s not over. Shriek announces to no one in particular that she’s been whipping the city into a frenzy largely without even trying up to this point, and begins to glow white with energy as she starts trying to direct “bad vibes” on purpose.
Oh nooooooo, how shall our heroes survive? Carnage has been torturing Venom for like two entire issues. This is absurd. But not as absurd as this letter!
Haha. Your horniness is immortalized forever, Mel. I hope it’s in the Library of Congress. I had a few fan letters published in the old days, and they’re all embarrassing, because they’re fan letters. I don’t honestly recall where all they were printed. I remember the most embarrassing one, to the comic Top Ten, from Alan Moore’s vanity imprint America’s Best at Jim Lee’s Wildstorm. Embarrassing largely because I misunderstood who was doing what in the art team and they printed it. But at least I wasn’t drooling all over the ladies!