This one opens with Spidey watching the sun come up and realizing he’s gone the whole night without sleeping. He’s only just gotten home from his adventure last issue. Remember? When a lying computer tried to kill him? I am still not over this. He thinks he really needs to get some sleep for Betty & Ned’s wedding this afternoon since he’s the best man. He’s the what now? I guess I just never thought of those two as being very close. That’s extremely random to me. Ned isn’t really a full-time member of the cast. They started out as rivals for Betty’s affection, and then… well, things get a lot weirder later. But, yeah, that’s a surprise. Anyway, he’s making for his skylight to get some sleep when…
It’s Peter’s cantankerous landlady, Mrs. Muggins, who must have been on the roof hanging laundry when he touched down. She bats him off the roof and he disappears, crawling into the alley, and she decides she must have imagined the whole thing. That’s handy. Peter makes his way into his apartment and grabs some milk, only to find it’s gone sour. Really having a good time lately. We leave Peter to check on on the mysterious homeless guy who’s been popping up lately, who does more or less the same thing he always does: contemplates committing a crime, thinks “he” has found him even though it seems no one’s there, and runs away. This time, he says there’s only one person in the world who would help him. I hope this actually goes somewhere soon. Then we’re treated to a montage of the supporting cast heading to the wedding, starting with a JJJ bit I frankly don’t get…
Is the thing he was missing his smile? I dunno. Also: He’s giving the bride away? Do Ned and Betty literally not know a single person outside The Daily Bugle? Peter is late because he’s trying and failing to tie his bowtie when Mary Jane shows up. She apologizes for being too possessive lately as she fixes his tie.
Take that, door! There you have the first time Peter & MJ have ever talked about their future. Seems worth marking. Pete & MJ arrive at the fancy hotel the wedding is to take place in. We’re told Betty & Ned were lucky to get a spot, as there’s several other weddings happening today. There’s some comedy business about Peter trying to get something to eat, since he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, and failing, and then it’s showtime.
MJ is the maid of honor? This is ludicrous! These two need some friends! Unfortunately for Betty & Ned, they’re getting married in a superhero comic, so while the ceremony is underway, a new villain called Mirage and his goons appear in the lobby. One by one, they move through the hotel robbing each wedding, until, inevitably…
Boy, I don’t get that mask. The first person they harass is Liz Allen, and Harry Osborn gets smacked in the face for trying to help her. JJJ tries to stand up, too, but quickly finds a gun in his face. Of course, Peter is already trying to find a way to become Spider-Man, and spots a lightswitch he can flip with his webbing, throwing the whole room into darkness, so it’s time for action.
Ross Andru’s Spider-Man posing is some of the most awkward you will ever see, and this sequence really, really drives that point home. With this weird development, Spidey shifts his focus to disarming the goons, snagging their guns and webbing them to the ceiling. Things deteriorate for them from there.
Soon it’s just Spidey and Mirage, who keeps teleporting around like a banana-flavored Nightcrawler. He’s bragging about how he studied “visual electronics” just to be the equal of Spider-Man, which clues Spidey in to the fact that he’s projecting holograms with the thing on his goofy head. So Spidey just drops giant chandelier on him. You know, like you do.
With Mirage down, Peter quickly changes back to his tux, actually manages to tie his tie, and even comes up with a reasonable excuse about how he went to call the cops but couldn’t get past the fight to come back. All that settled, the wedding can finally resume…
As mentioned previously, Ned & Betty are going to live and work in Paris for awhile, but they’ll be back in the book one day. We may wish they were not, but… that’s jumping ahead. Later, we find Aunt May returning home, still holding the bouquet she caught, when she finds the mysterious homeless guy in her house! And guess what?
Uh-oh! It’s gonna be a long time before we pick up on that cliffhanger, though. And when we do, it’ll make a lot more sense. Next time, though, we’re going to turn our focus to an issue of Marvel Team-Up.