Time for 2 more issues of X-Men, one of them called Dark Avengers for some reason. Same uncanny art team as before. Cyclops is watching some bad guys I don’t recognize in a video where they’re saying these events prove they were right about mutants. He doesn’t care about that, tho, he’s assembling a team. I’m only running this page…
…because of how funny the wetsuit thing is. As if most of you don’t dress like that every day. As if the only difference between that and Psylocke’s normal costume is how much skin is covered. He gives each of the ladies a mission for themselves, or for a team they will lead, all of which is left vague for us. Then we go check in on the big Dark fight from last issue.
Daken is about to puree Bullseye when Emma breaks it up. Bullseye is pretty dumb to take on a Wolverine, even the Great Value one. Emma says the city is under attack, and the world needs to see mutant heroes stepping up and the Avengers supporting them. Thusly:
Oh, ok, those generic guys were on Cyclops’ TV earlier, unexplained. Emma reads their minds and learns Trask has effectively killed them and turned them into drones, so the gloves are off.
Ok, sure! Emma’s team is doing pretty well tearing up the bad guys, though Dagger is expressing doubts. Cloak says they didn’t have a choice, but this is not explained. Mimic is trying to save the bad guys’ souls even tho Emma has learned they don’t have any, saying what’s been done to them is a kind of mutation.
That guy seems pretty together! Elsewhere, Dani Moonstar tells some guys she’s there to see their boss, and then we’re back to San Fran, where Cyclops has his team on a roof, watching Emma’s team to learn how they fight and how to counter them. He says they’ll step in if it looks like Emma’s people don’t have it under control, but until then, this is recon. And the Dark X-Men don’t need any help, wiping the floor with the dorks across a series of typically booby Dodson pages.The way he approaches a comics page like “Let’s see, there’s a dozen people fighting in this scene, but how can I maximize the amount of women breasting boobily around the battlefield?”
The observing X-Men agree Emma’s team is pretty good, but Cyclops says, “That’s how you’ll beat them,” which makes no sense at all. He says they don’t fight as a team, but his guys will. Iceman points out that if they do well, they’ll have to fight Osborn’s Avengers, but Cyclops asks who said this was the team to take down the Avengers.
That, as it turns out, is Magneto’s fabled base Asteroid M, long since sunk in the ocean. But why?
Dark Avengers 8
Luke Ross & Co, hanging in there, including all the inkers, but with Dean White swapping in for colors. Not a great cover by Deodato! It’s claw time.
Ya know, I don’t recall a lot of what went on in JMS’ Thor too well, but Hela, traditionally one of the most covered supercharacters of all, now a Maxim model is especially annoying. I also didn’t remember this bit, but Matt Fraction’s obsession with “big ol’ swords” started earlier than I realized. Dani Moonstar sort of became a Valkyrie for awhile, so I guess that gives her some pull. Meanwhile, back at the A plot:
Uh, what? That happened really fast and awkwardly. We then get quick shots of the following days showing the Dark X-Men servin’ and protectin’ and becoming local celebrities. Mystique-as-Xavier appears on TV. Cyclops tells his gang they have to keep taking it until Hank’s science team checks in. The Dark X-Men keep on doing their thing.
This sure is a Dark Avengers/X-Men crossover, and not just an X-Men story, isn’t it? Inescapable fact of the X-World, they just take over. The aforementioned science team has finished what they’re doing at the remains of Asteroid M and radios home that they’re ready. Back at Alcatraz, Dark Beast is torturing Regular Beast to feed Weapon Omega’s powers until, in another confusing sequence with poor panel-to-panel execution, he discovers all his test subjects are gone except Hank.
Who is the “hot little blonde?” Like, I legit can’t tell. I thought it was Dagger, but she’s not in her suit and also with the rest of her team upstairs. What is happening? Word gets upstairs about the prison break, sending Emma’s team into action and pausing Norman’s plan to send his team home, but the Avengers are kept in reserve. Wouldn’t want them to actually do anything in a comic called Dark Avengers.
You think the X-Men set up in Marin County because that’s where George Lucas and Skywalker Ranch is and stuff? Like as a nerd reference? Or just ‘cuz? Who knows? Pixie and Magik run in to tell the others they’re going to start transporting them in groups, and “Time to go home…” On Alcatraz, the X-Teams collide in an increasingly rushed-looking sequence. Ross might be in over his head here. But, with so very many characters to draw, that seems like an easy way to get, until…
Oh my gosh, the 2 people leading the bad guy team who weren’t bad guys are revealed not to be bad guys. This is a shocking development. Wow.
At some point, someone helpfully revealed that Cloak & Dagger are mutants, and that the drug experiments that gave them their powers actually just activated their mutant powers. “But,” you say, “if that’s the case, how does the revelation that Mr. Negative got his similar powers the same way make sense?” Well, you see, it doesn’t.
The mutants have just created a new home for themselves from the ruins of Asteroid M, now called Utopia. The formerly Dark X-Men arrive on Utopia, where Emma introduces Scott to Namor. I didn’t realize this was where Namor joined the X-Men, but he will stay with the team for some while after this. Linked via Emma, Scott lets everyone know she and Namor have been on their side the whole time, surprising no one reading. Then a TV feed is set up for Scott.
Time for a big battle neither team can actually lose in yet another one-shot.