Let’s speed this up, we’re doing this 2 books at a time because none of this really matters to Spider-Man. The X-portions of this crossover are mercifully handed by Terry Dodson. As I said last time, it could’ve been Greg Land. Can you imagine? A 4-issue crossover event between Greg Land and Mike Deodato, Jr.? A race to the bottom! And some very vocal fans would eat it up. I don’t get it. Dodson is inked here by his wife Rachel, an arrangement I’d forgotten about, as for years now, he inks himself and she colors. Justin Ponsor rounds out the art staff. As depicted on this cover, meet the Dark X-Men. Really.
Hard to imagine a way for Emma to be part of this that doesn’t end her relationship with Scott, and yet, as I recall, it doesn’t happen that way. Look how weird fake Xavier looks in panel 2! Osborn and Faxavier continue spouting conservative talking points over Cyclops doing his best impression of Captain America’s escape in Civil War. Their speechifiying continues over us catching up with all the situations we left off with last issue, the various Dark Avengers and X-Men in conflict, ending with Colossus slapping Venom with a giant hunk of concrete before being whisked away from the scene by Iceman. I always liked Colossus. That’s not relevant, he’s just one of my favorite X-Men.
Well, that’s the X-Men for you. They already HAVE a character called “Dark Beast,” the surviving Beast from the Age of Apocalypse alternate reality. I am only just realizing the fact that he was a villain thee probably prompted the truly heinous choice to make the real Hank absolutely horrible in the X-Men’s Krakoa era. Anyway.
Her team will be former X-Villain Mimic, Cloak & Dagger for some reason,Weapon Omega, aka Michael Pointer from Bendis’ Collective arc, and Daken as Dark Wolverine, rather hilariously on both an Avengers team and an X-Men team, just like his dad. And we learn Faxavier is in fact Mystique, doing her thing. Emma wants nothing to do with her, but Norman reveals she’s essentially got a bomb in her forcing her to do what they say.
The gang’s all here. 2 members of Norman’s Cabal on a single X-Team. Emma unveils her team at a press conference, along with the promise of a curfew in the city for the foreseeable future. Meanwhile, Trask wakes up in the hospital, revealing he’s some kinda Sentinel-man who can infect other people with nanomachines or some such and make them his servants, which he’s doing to much of the hospital.
Cyclops tells everyone they have to wait and plan and see how things shake out. Later, at a mutant bar, Hellion, a bunch of other losers, and Sunspot are plotting to go cause trouble, anyway. Back at HAMMER, Emma is taken to see “the Omega Machine,” which is how they’re depowering the mutants (temporarily, I guess), and then Hellion and his hellions start blowing up Union Square Park, much to Cyclops’ chagrin when he sees it on TV.
Thus, after a splash page of the Dark X-Men attacking the kids, obviously designed to sell the original for a lot of money…
The Dark Avengers are ready made bad guys for a story like this. But in their own comic, they’re sort of-kind of good guys. How does that work? Will Fraction given them the spotlight in their own series?
Dark Avengers 7
Tommy Lee Jones and a Poser model play with action figures! I had long forgotten Luke Ross drew this. Does he do both DA issues? Wait’ll you see this, Luke Ross 2009 sure isn’t the guy who did TAC back in the day. He’s joined by inkers Rick Magyar and Mark Pennington, with Deodato’s constant companion Rain Beredo hanging around to color. In the HAMMER prison, Beast seems to be devolving or dying, still not convinced he’s mentally chatting with the real Professor X. Dark Beast and Norman are watching him, and Norman is not happy.
Luke Ross just kind of hops on the trends. Realism is in, so he’s into realism now. Norman has one of his pep talks with Sentry before we get back to last issue’s riot. Comically, Ross apes Dodson when drawing that, after trying to get like Deodato for the Dark Avengers part. Just doin’ whatever. The Dark X-Men handily defeat the small army of mutant jobbers (Emma having trained Hellion doesn’t come up as she neutralizes him), and Emma has to stop Daken from killing Avalanche in a fit of temper. This distracts her enough to let Hellion get back up.
Meanwhile, Cyclops jetpacks over to HAMMER, saying he comes in peace. As Norman tries to politic him, Cyclops interrupts him to simply say “Surrender.”
Seems unlikely! We check in on the Dark Avengers, theoretical stars of this book, as Bullseye whines that they should be fighting and he’s bored, but no one wants to hear it. Ares is on his side, though. The the Dark X-Men return with their prisoners. Daken kicks a defenseless Hellion, and Emma is very upset. Norman tries to break up the brewing fight.
For all that Ross is copying 2 different artists and/or pictures of Tommy Lee Jones, he couldn’t get the face of the Iron Man helmet right? What is that? As soon as the grownups leave the room, the Dark Avengers and X-Men get into a huge fight. As Norman and Dark Beast give Emma the tour, they goof, because they don’t know Xavier can project his thoughts, and he tells Emma what’s happening to Hank. She demands to see Hank, and they lie and say they don’t have him. Xavier tells her where to look.
So, the Dark Avengers are, for the most part, unrepentant bad guys that Osborn, for reasons no one seems to care to articulate, is trying to force to be good guys. They make good villains for this story. Because they’re villains. But it looks like we’re working toward a “common enemy” situation. I don’t recall, I only know the new X-status quo that spins out of this. Anyway, we’ll see.