Another Terry Dodson cover for the road, why not? Well, inside, our man is about to fight the Dollar Tree Avengers, and Faux Iron Man is looking way less warped and out of proportion than last page of last issue, so good for him.
This and the Parkers moving into Avengers Tower were really the only things I remembered about this story. I even forgot the tabloid part.
Dumb green evil Thor is right about that joke. It was so bad I had to read it twice to even get it. Spidey tricks him into setting off his EMP, which messes up Dumb Green Evil Iron Man’s suit, but right as they’re about to devolve into in-fighting, Dumb Green Evil Captain America gives them a speech about working together, like the real one would. Spidey has just enough time to tell these idiots he has a danger sense like it’s the 70s before the Avengers show up.
It’s like the famous “Ultron, we would have words with thee” scene from the Busiek/Perez Avengers, except instead of one of the coolest moments in a great story, it’s a stupid evil twin fight. Spidey is about to join in when Hydra Guy reminds him, you know, about the missile and all. Spidey is told it’s too for away for him to reach in time, so he gets a lift from Iron Man. He catches Tony up on what they have to do on the way, and then they’re at the missile. Iron Man fights goons while Spidey does the hero thing. Feel like Tony Stark should know more about deactivating a ballistic missile than Spider-Man, but it’s his title, I guess.
Shoulda let Iron Man do it. The missile launches, and Spider-Man webs on to the side, unwilling to give up. This allows Cap to have a flashback to Bucky’s death, which frankly feels like a waste of time in a Spider-Man comic where he’s certainly not going to die. So, the missile breaches the surface with Iron Man in hot pursuit, but it knocks over a big crane, forcing IM to stop and keep it from crushing people, and leaving Spider-Man on his own. He’s already having trouble breathing as he smashes his way into a panel to try to mess up its navigation.
He manages to get the thing aimed at the ocean, and it turns to being falling back down, but he’s really barely hanging on at this point, and then he finally just falls off.
He thinks the toxins are just going to dissolve in the ocean, but I don’t. That doesn’t seem like much of a solution. That stuff’s getting back to human’s for sure. But, presumably, Spider-Man isn’t. He’s dead, next issue will be the final one. Right? How long’s it been since they did a “he’s totally gonna die” cliffhanger? This really does feel like the 70s.