Ooooooh, this comic was such a pain. As I wasn’t buying Spider-Man for 7 months, I didn’t get it. And I feel 100% certain this will be a bad comic. But then I decided that 7-month gap was so small, and I’d already bought all these other crappy books, why not? Why not? I’ve been bitterly learning “why not,” but it became more bitter when Sony announced a movie starring Bad Bunny as the dumb character on the cover here, El Muerto. El Muerto has appeared in exactly 2 comic books, ever, this one and the next issue. He’s nothing. But Sony is so hilariously, sadly desperate to make superhero movies with access to nothing but Spider-Man that some intern must’ve found him. So, as these things tend to do, suddenly FNSM 6 became an expensive collector’s item. People getting it graded and asking hundreds for it. And so, here I was, Nightwatch all over again. And just like Nightwatch, I waited and waited, and eventually, I somehow won the book on eBay for $0.99 when people were asking $28 ungraded. And just like Nightwatch, the stupid movie never even happened. I’m glad I’m done buying old comics now, it was such a pain sometimes. But, $0.99 poorer, I can now see the thrilling debut of what is almost certain to be a borderline (At best) racist luchador superhero. And Ringo’s not even here, it’s Roger Cruz penciling, Oclair Albert & Victor Olazaba on inks, and Chris Sotomayor on colors. Did… did they seek out people with Latino names to try to lend this some credibility? Way back on X-Man 37, I mentioned Roger Cruz is a guy who just kind of tries to draw like whatever the trend of the moment is, and so we’ll see his stuff is very different in 2006.
Not a hint of faux-Joe Maduriera in there anymore. As if starting in mid-fight wasn’t jarring enough, the next page begins a scene wherein JJJ and John Jameson are tied up in…a house… by a guy who wants to kill them because his dad was executed by the state. He feels JJJ’s editorials are what kept him from getting pardoned by the governor. Ok? Jonah begs John to “do something,” clearly meaning Man-Wolf, but John doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about. Does he have amnesia? Whose house is this, JJJ lives in Manhattan. Is this John’s house? Is this happening before or after the random fight opener? Shouldn’t someone… tell me something? Then El Muerto, who hasn’t even been properly named yet, smashes through the window to the rescue.
We are in some really bumpy territory here, on so many levels.
Holy crap, man, I totally forgot the idiotic thing where Jonah thought Spider-Man was John!! Wow. I don’t even remember where it came from! I assume… Wait, was that Jenkins crap or Hudlin crap? I literally don’t remember. It was Millar crap! The crappiest crap of all, in MKSM 8. Why on Earth didn’t you just leave that to wither on the vine, David? How does he square this with JJJ lambasting the Avengers for allowing Spider-Man to join??? Answer: He cannot! Wow. Wow wow. Well, uh, anyway, also, in the past, I assume, Peter Parker, who has reported to his teaching job for the first time in a long time, is getting onto a “jock” student for being mean to a “nerd” student, and the jock kid says his coach told him not to let anyone get in his way, and, well, we know who that is…
The structure of this story is aggressively unpleasant to read. But, then, so is the story itself. But, at least we now know why Spider-Man has returned to his wrestling career, which picks back up on the next page, and then we flashback to El Muerto’s… origin. His dad was El Muerto, and also his grandfather, and… apparently they’re all given powers by some mysterious figure. And his dad brought the current guy to the mystery guy to be tested, and he didn’t wanna do it. So mystery guy was gonna kill him, but his dad fought for him and died.
Weird that Logan is the only person in this comic who looks at all like Cruz’ 90s art. Well, now we’re back to rasslin, Spider-Man asking what he has to do to end this, if he just needs to pin El Muerto or what.
Marvel would never let a white guy write this stereotypical stuff today. If someone of actual Mexican heritage had an idea for a Luchador hero, maybe. Someone in the tradition of El Santo. But this is awkward at best. And Sony wants to make a movie out of it!