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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nCouldn\u2019t resist that gag, eh Jim? Spidey mops up these guys pretty quickly, but why do they have computer-targeted laser rifles? And why is his Spider Sense still going off after the fight is over? There\u2019s no time to wonder about that, as the cops are arriving on the scene, so he takes off. And, watching him leave via security camera from a base under the construction site, is the source of the danger sense: Dr. Doom! Wow, Doom\u2019s really going for it this time. He commands one of his underlings to make sure everything he just said was recorded, like everything he says, and to bring him a transcript later. I love this. It\u2019s the most reasonable explanation for why Doom talks to himself all the time. He then does plenty more of that, recapping his life story and making sure everyone knows he\u2019s got a messed up face, before revealing another aspect of his plan: his goons are somehow forcing The Hulk to head to Metropolis! But that\u2019ll have to wait, as we check back with Peter Parker. It\u2019s the next day, and he goes through his routine: wake up too late, hustle to school, get rejected\u2026 …go to work, and have JJJ literally throw his pictures from last night on the floor. Just another day in the life. JJJ says Spider-Man is old news all of a sudden, and points to the Superman poster he apparently keeps in his office and demand photos of Superman (Who lives hundreds of miles away? How is Pete supposed to do this?). Why does Elvis Costello keep popping up in Spidey stories? This makes 3 references I can think of, all by different writers, spread out over more than a decade. Weird. Anyway, we\u2019re 7 pages in and haven\u2019t seen a single DC character, so it\u2019s time to move to Metropolis. Or, more accurately, a helicopter flying away from Metropolis. Hulk sightings have been popping up closer and closer to the city, and Clark Kent, Lois Lane, and a cameraman named Ray have flown out to investigate one of them in Glendale. Hm. I\u2019ve never been clear about where Metropolis is supposed to be. Is it in California, then? The reporters see a horrible swathe of destruction, but no Hulk. Clark thinks someone must be controlling The Hulk for him to be so stealthy, which only makes him more worried as the chopper heads back to Galaxy Communications where Clark & Lois are whisked to a meeting by Jimmy Olsen. Clark tries to fake a stomach ache to go look for The Hulk, but is unable to escape. Clark\u2019s employment situation sounds complicated. Local idiot Steve Lombard tries to get Clark with the cliche water squirting flower bit, but Clark hits it with a mild blast of heat vision, causing Lombard to spritz himself, and then he\u2019s kicked out of the room so the grownups can talk. But they only get to talk for a few minutes, because The Hulk has made it to Metropolis. Using his x-ray vision, Clark knows it before anyone else\u2026 People complain today that Superman is too powerful, but Pre-Crisis Superman could do damn near anything, including Super-Ventriloquism. Then he ups the ante by stomping the floor so hard the building shakes, and causing an evacuation. He uses the chaos to finally slip away and become Superman. The big guy\u2019s not exactly hard to find, so soon, it\u2019s on! This isn\u2019t Hulk\u2019s first run-in with a DC hero , but Superman obviously represents a more direct physical challenge than Batman did (I almost wish this wasn\u2019t a Spider-Man blog, because Batman Vs. The Incredible Hulk is a stunning comics masterclass by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez, one of the absolute greatest artists in the history of DC Comics, but alas, it\u2019s not part of our mandate). They get right into it, and whole buildings start coming down. Right about then, a bus pulls up, and who should step out of it but Peter Parker. Seeing he\u2019s arrived just in time, he ducks down an alley to get into his work clothes, as the most powerful characters in their respective universes continue to beat on each other\u2026 He totally could, and The Hulk smashes a surprised Superman up into the air and out of the city, sending him crashing to Earth miles away from Metropolis. Hulk is still angry, though, and begins trashing everything in sight. All of Metropolis shakes under his onslaught. Spider-Man finally shows up, and rather unenthusiastically decides he\u2019s got to deal with this. But then Superman swoops back in. Can\u2019t just job Supes out to Hulk like that. But, Hulk has his ludicrous rule: the madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets. So as he stands there wailing on an unmoved Superman, he slowly begins to become so powerful he might be hurting him in a minute. But then Superman notices a tiny drone flying around Hulk\u2019s head, emitting a shriek that\u2019s been driving him crazy. He grabs it with his super speed and crushes it. Hulk is immediately relieved, yet still wants to fight, but\u2026 Having done absolutely nothing, Spidey just slinks away to change back into Peter Parker, feeling like a jerk. And that feeling only intensifies when the cops show up and take Supes\u2019 word that Banner\u2019s not a criminal and Hulk was being controlled by someone he means to find. Peter\u2019s existential crisis at seeing how everyone loves Superman is pretty great. But as everyone leaves the scene, no one notices The Parasite emerging from the trashed street. He\u2019d tunneled up to this point from the underground prison Superman had placed him in, but that took all his strength, and he\u2019s in bad shape. Guy seems pretty ungrateful for Doom\u2019s effort here, but hey, that\u2019s bad guys for ya. Parasite continues explaining how he tunneled out, and how he\u2019s so drained of energy he\u2019s barely alive, when suddenly things change. A nearby energy source has begun to revitalize him. And wouldn\u2019t you know it, at that moment, Peter Parker begins to feel weak and sick. This meeting of comics\u2019 two most famous photographers really should\u2019ve happened last time, so it\u2019s cool of Shooter to get it in here. Jimmy offers to give Pete a tour of Galaxy Communications, and even get his film developed there in the process, so Pete gets to meet the Superman cast. He gets to see Steve Lombard is a jerk, gets tongue-tied in front of the beautiful Lana Lang, and then\u2026 That\u2019s kinda dirty of Peter. But, then, I doubt JJJ paid for his trip out here. Jimmy continues the tour, and Peter is half-convinced to move to Metropolis, he likes it so much. Meanwhile, Clark Kent is telling his boss, Morgan Edge, that he\u2019s taking a leave of absence. Edge is not exactly a levelheaded dude, and freaks out, but Clark sez it\u2019s in his contract that he can take a leave of absence anytime, with no advanced warning (Who wrote this contract!? Can I get one!?), and he\u2019s off. As Superman flies over the city, there\u2019s a random cameo appearance by Louise & Walter Simonson (though I think she was still Louis Jones at the time)… Metropolis has one flying dude. Maybe Supergirl is there sometimes. New York has like 900 superheroes. I don\u2019t know about that caption, Jim. Anyway, Superman has discovered The Parasite escaped, and realized Hulk was part of the plan to free him. He also realized that only 2 people could\u2019ve pulled this off, and Lex Luthor is in jail, so he\u2019s come to The Latverian Embassy in New York to look for answers. He\u2019s told Doom is there, and has been expecting him, in fact. Doom says theirs is a historic meeting, and when Superman says he\u2019s up to something, Doom says that something is dominion of the entire world. Hey, no need to mince words. He says they\u2019re much alike\u2026 Dr. Doom is the greatest villain in comics because of his complete belief that everything he does is for the good of humanity. They say every villain is the hero of their own story, but Doom is certain he\u2019s the hero in yours, too. That\u2019s fun. Superman escapes the death trap in the kind of bonkers display of his powers that was taken off the table when he was made more \u201crealistic\u201d in the wake of Crisis on Infinite Earths, grabbing up Doom\u2019s lead lined floor, rolling himself up in it like a burrito, and spinning so fast it \u201cmelts into a thin, flexible coating.\u201d The now metal-coated Superman grabs the Kryptonite and hurls it into the sun. Just another day for Superman. Doom tells Superman to get out, and he does, warning that he\u2019ll stop whatever Doom is up to, Doom responding that it\u2019s almost a shame he\u2019ll have to kill him. I like these two as adversaries, it\u2019s a shame it can\u2019t happen again. As soon as Supes is gone, The Parasite emerges from a secret room, mad that he didn\u2019t get to attack Superman. Doom says he didn\u2019t really expect the Kryptonite ploy to work, and The Parasite couldn\u2019t beat him, either, but that Superman himself will ensure their victory in a few days. Later, Clark Kent shows up at The Daily Bugle. JJJ is delighted by the notion of Clark working for him, almost enough to stop being mad at Peter. Clark meets Robbie and chats for a sec, thinking his real reason for this is hoping Doom will try to get to Superman through people close to him, like Clark Kent, and hoping to keep Lois & Jimmy safe by being way out in the open. But then he hears something that makes him run off. Glory Grant & Robbie compare this to the quirkiness of Peter Parker, har har. Then, a red & blue figure streaks across the sky, causing one bystander to ask, \u201cIs that Thor?\u201d, which makes way more sense than the last bit. He has to catch a falling commercial jet, and that\u2019s not all\u2026 We\u2019re told days pass, and Clark doesn\u2019t have much time to be Clark, because the catastrophes are coming nonstop. Which leads to moments like JJJ banging on a door, demanding Clark come out for 5 minutes while Superman is out, only for Clark to finally emerge and say he was on a phone call\u2026 Glory is out of luck, though, because Clark has disappeared again, off to stop a train from hitting a school bus in Long Island. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s an escape artist or Superman or something!\u201d she thinks. This has been page 33, and I have to ask: Where is Spider-Man!? He\u2019s barely been in this! Peter Parker has only been in it a tiny bit more. I\u2019m starting to feel like Jim Shooter just missed writing Superman since coming to Marvel and engineered a way to scratch that itch. Also: Both Clark Kent and Superman have suddenly moved to New York, and no one is suspicious. I mean, come on. It\u2019s already more than a little convenient when Spider-Man and Peter Parker both happen to be in California on the same day, but these two both relocated at the same time. I guess that\u2019s nothing compared to them both coming back from the dead at the same time in the 90s. Even J. Jonah Jameson knows better than to try to smear Superman.That night, Superman, having failed to tie Dr. Doom to any criminal activity except selling some high tech weapons to some local hoods (Oh yeah? Back when this seemed like it would have Spider-Man in it?), decides to go to the source, and flies to Latveria. He just kinda flies around, never even stops to talk to anyone. I\u2019m not sure what his plan was. But he was there long enough for Doom\u2019s guys to hit him with \u201cthe particle beam.\u201d He doesn\u2019t seem to have noticed. So he flies back to New York and visits the police station where Doom\u2019s guns are in lock up. The New York cops don\u2019t have any of the reverence for Supes they have back home, and won\u2019t let him see the guns. At his underground lair not far away, Doom is dealing with an impatient Parasite. Parasite wants to kidnap Clark Kent to trap Superman, and Doom says that\u2019s OBVIOUSLY why Kent is in New York, so no. He reveals he has The Hulk in a statis tube, kidnapped from STAR Labs, and he\u2019s got an empty tube next to him. Honestly, the longer this comic goes on, the more I think Doom is the perfect Superman villain. Superman can do anything, Doom prepares for everything, it\u2019s a good match. From there, on page 35, 11 pages since we last saw him (and 32 pages since we saw him actually do anything useful), we finally get around to Peter Parker again. I guess he really has moved to Metropolis. He\u2019s been working for The Daily Planet, and is really enjoying his life. He just feels a little lonely. So he asks out Lana Lang, and that goes predictably poorly. Lois Lane made a point of how much younger Peter is than her in the first one, and Lana seems similarly uncomfortable here. And then\u2026 Where did he get that sign!? Peter ducks into a supply closet to switch to Spidey and, finding the sign, drops by Steve\u2019s office to leave him a present. Prrrrrobably not MJ, but I guess that was easier than explaining to casual fans that she\u2019s out of the book. It\u2019s Aunt May, actually, calling to check on him. Once he gets off the phone, he decides to go for a swing around town, and hearing gunshots, finds a guy in a shootout with cops on a roof. He swings in to say he\u2019ll help, and accidentally scares one of the cops so bad he almost falls to his death. Naturally, the cops now think he\u2019s working with the goon they\u2019re after, and turn their fire on him. Spidey just can\u2019t catch a break. To add insult to injury, the cops catch the guy just fine on their own, and then put out on APB on Spidey. He swings off, feeling like he\u2019s been off his game lately, but not sure why\u2026 That was a weird leap from \u201cpits,\u201d but hey, at least he\u2019s getting somewhere. He examines the site, letting his Spider Sense guide him to a steel plate in the ground, which he rips up to drop down into a Kirby-esque room full of supermachinery. He soon finds piles of unconscious henchmen, and then, the cause of their naps: Peter, you gotta chill, buddy. I do kinda want to see him try the line \u201cWhat\u2019re you doing after the battle?\u201d though. Anyway, Doom\u2019s watching the whole thing on video monitors. He\u2019d hoped to capture WW in New York, but with Superman there, it was too hot. But now his goons are doing a terrible job without his supervision. Time for the ol\u2019 \u201cTwo Heroes Fight Over A Misunderstanding.\u201d Spidey is as amazed by her strength as she is by his speed. They chase each other around until Spidey kills the lights. I actually laughed at that marriage bit. I like the idea of Spider-Man totally smitten with Wonder Woman. In a very disappointing sequence, the goons manage to take down WW with their laser guns, which seems highly unlikely, and then drag her away, leaving Spider-Man fighting a ton of their compatriots. But a ton of goons is nothing to Spider-Man, so as they pack WW onto a train in an underground railway between Metropolis and New York Doom constructed (This is some scheme!), Spidey hitches a ride on the back. Later, as Wonder Woman is unloaded at the New York base, The Parasite has had enough. Is that legit The Parasite\u2019s origin? He was The Dumbest Man On Earth? Wow. Whatever it might sound like, though, he just wants to leech Wonder Woman\u2019s energy so he can stop feeling like he\u2019s dying. Doom decides maybe he\u2019s misjudged Parasite, and tells him what Project Omega is all about. He\u2019s got these Omega Sites all over the globe\u2026 His machines will turn all fossil fuels to sand! And then he\u2019ll change their settings and they\u2019ll render all nuclear power inert! They\u2019ll even somehow make most weapons stop working! And then, as the world collapses into anarchy, Doom will appear with the answer: A new kind of fusion reactor that doesn\u2019t require atomic energy and puts out the power of a small star! There is\u2026 a lot to unpack in this scheme. And he tells The Parasite that his part of the plan is to absorb the energy of Wonder Woman, Superman & Hulk, making him impossibly powerful, so he can be Doom\u2019s enforcer and second in command. And if you don\u2019t think Doom is planning to double cross that purple goofball, well, you are bad at comics. However, Spider-Man overheard this whole thing, skulking about up in the rafters. He says in the past, he would\u2019ve dived down there and gone after them, but he\u2019s second guessing himself lately, so he sneaks outside to look for some help. And on page 47, Spidey & Superman finally team up. Also, I guess Spider-Man got his groove back? Pretty lame of Superman, though. Spidey\u2019s been making Doom look like a dumby since he was 15, Supes, come on. Superman tears through a wall into the lab right as Doom is showing Parasite a harness he made to help him retain the energy he syphons off people, and Superman just pins Parasite to a wall with a big hunk of metal, no problem. He told Spider-Man it was too dangerous, and then\u2026 nothin\u2019. Superman also makes short work of Doom\u2019s goons, but that was all a distraction so Doom could deploy a big robot. The ruckus Superman and the robot make helps Parasite free himself, and he\u2019s about to get to work on an unsuspecting Superman when Spidey swings in and kicks him in the face. That proves a mistake. The Parasite even got a Spider Sense out of his deal, so Spidey can\u2019t hit him. As he feels his strength failing, he realizes he\u2019d do better helping Suderman, so he hops over and blinds the robot, distracting it long enough to Superman to punch it to pieces. Parasite manages to grab Spider-Man and knock him out while Superman is going down, and suddenly, it\u2019s looking pretty good for the bad guys. Doom reveals to Parasite that the particle beam fired at Superman while he was in Latveria contained.. \u201cMinute grains of Kryptonite micro-encapsulated in lead,\u201d and the ray he shot Superman with released the Kryptonite. Aaaaaaalright. That\u2019s convoluted. Soon, Spider-Man finds himself in a high-tech harness, stuck to a wall. Superman\u2019s on an operating table, Hulk & Wonder Woman are in tubes, and the villains are getting ready for the end. Spidey can\u2019t break loose, and Parasite is being outfitted with that harness from earlier\u2026 which, Doom internal monologues at us, will kill him when he tries to syphon all the heroes\u2019 power, leaving them dead and turning Parasite into a crystal he needs for his fusion reactor. Neat and tidy. One problem, though: Spider-Man slowly pulls the web off Superman, hoping it will take enough of the Kryptonite dust with it to revive him. Even Spidey thinks this plan is crazy, but it\u2019s all he\u2019s got. Or it was. As the harness is being put on The Parasite, the last vestiges of his Spider Sense alert him to the doublecross, and now it\u2019s time for the old \u201cVillains Wind Up Fighting Each Other,\u201d just like last time. On top of that, Spidey\u2019s plan worked, and now they\u2019re both loose. Parasite made Doom smash his reactor controls back there, so now the reactor is going to overheat and detonate. Doom tries to flee to an escape rocket (All the villains have one!), but Superman grabs him. However, he hasn\u2019t figured out what\u2019s going on yet, he just wanted Doom\u2019s glove. As Doom flees to his rocket, Superman tests a theory\u2026 Now the heroes finally realize the reactor\u2019s gonna blow, so Superman tells Spider-Man to fix the controls while he stalls it, and then dives down through the floor. So everything suddenly rests on Spider-Man\u2019s scientific genius. The self-doubt he\u2019s been dealing with this whole time reappears, and he\u2019s not sure he can do it, but he has to try. Meanwhile, Doom has reached his rocket\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, my plan to take over the Earth didn\u2019t work, guess I\u2019ll conquer ALL OF SPACE.\u201d Nice consolation prize. Good of Spider-Man to randomly web up these controls earlier. Very forward thinking. Back in the lab, Superman is about to die from the insane heat he\u2019s dealing with as he physically holds the reactor together, but up top, Spider-Man has been making some progress on the machine, and thinks he\u2019s got it. Day saved, the two heroes try to catch up to Dr. Doom. But he\u2019s been flying toward his embassy. His suit is more damaged than he thought, but he just manages to get to the door before the heroes catch him. Foiled by international law! With that, the heroes part. The next day, Clark Kent is back at The Daily Planet, explaining that he only left to help Superman with this business, which is actually sort of true, even. He explains to his coworkers that Superman went back to the lab to free Wonder Woman, but The Hulk was already gone. Lois says Spider-Man is too mysterious for them to know if he\u2019s cool, but Clark tells them Superman said he\u2019d stake his life on Spider-Man. Then Jimmy lets him know Peter Parker left town for New York this morning, feeling homesick. And that, finally, is the end. Guys, I had to read this thing in 3 sittings. It\u2019s so long. I think it\u2019s the same length as the last one, but that was full of action scenes and double-page spreads instead of 9-panel grids with Dr. Doom arguing about the morality of dictatorship. Whew. \u201cDense\u201d isn\u2019t a dense enough word. But overall, it was pretty fun, I thought. The underuse of Spider-Man was a weird and unsatisfying choice, but it was fun to see Peter & Clark sort of switch lives for a couple of days. It didn\u2019t have the breathless \u201cI can\u2019t believe we\u2019re really doing this\u201d feel of the original, but it had a lot going for it. I gotta say, though, not John Buscema\u2019s best work. I mean, definitely some nice moments in there, but also some awkward figures, and Big John certainly did more intense action sequences in his day. I assume his deadline was pretty tight for this in spite of it being an enormous book with dozens of characters, so I bet that was an issue.
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