{"id":119,"date":"2019-07-08T00:00:14","date_gmt":"2019-07-08T04:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/deweybass.com\/spiderman\/?p=119"},"modified":"2019-04-23T21:37:35","modified_gmt":"2019-04-24T01:37:35","slug":"asm-217","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/2019\/07\/08\/asm-217\/","title":{"rendered":"ASM 217"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So it\u2019s only Hydro-Man\u2019s second appearance they\u2019re already gonna do the thing where he merges with Sandman and becomes a mud man. Look at this cover, you and I both know it\u2019s coming. They did not waste time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, this is getting ridiculous, this issue picks up right after the next one. This is a story that\u2019s stretched over 7 issues so far, and it\u2019s going into at least one more based on the covers! Denny O\u2019Neil, you have to leave gaps for the 2 other Spidey series to take place in! Sheesh. Like, it is literally seconds after the end of last issue as we get started. So, the cops show up after Spidey has given his all to stop these two shooters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Friends, I had to put the book down for a second. This is\u2026 the\u2026 stupidest twist\u2026 in the world. I am simply gobsmacked. He just HAPPENED to be in THAT water tower. I\u2019m gonna need a minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, I think I\u2019m ok. This\u2026 no, ok, I\u2019m ok.  This is so bad. I\u2019m ok! Ok. Hydroman (I think they\u2019ve dropped the hyphen) escapes down a drain pipe, and the exhausted Spider-Man escapes, too, while the cops are gawking at it. Spidey thinks maybe he\u2019ll go catch a movie to relax. He heard \u201cthat new murder mystery\u201d has opened at The Griffith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Halloween II ! Halloween II is \u201cthat new murder mystery!\u201d And Peter can\u2019t wait to guess whodunit, and then Deb Whitman and BIFF RIFKIN come out of the theater and biff spoils the ending for him, ruining his day. You\u2019ve seen Halloween II, probably, you know how it ends:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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(That is not how it ends, don\u2019t @ me) Oh man. Like, if we assume this was done Marvel Method, and I more or less do, there\u2019s no way O’Neil could\u2019ve written the dialogue without seeing the marquee. He just had a bit and barreled on through. Oh maaaan. I want to see the Marvel Universe version of Halloween II. I guess an ol\u2019 grandmother blows up Michael Meyers! Holy CRAP this issue is sending me off on tangents\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elsewhere, Hydroman returns to the bar we saw him in last time, so he can use his alleged love interest, Sadie, for a place to crash, but she\u2019s makin\u2019 sweet eyes at\u2026 The Sandman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Well. Not hard to see where this is going. Meanwhile, Peter Parker comes home, dejected as ever. He passes the cowboy in the hall and thinks he can get a good night\u2019s sleep while he\u2019s out. He also sees a very short and dapper gentleman he\u2019s been noticing around in recent issues on his way out, too, and wishes the cowboy could be more like him. Well. Not hard to see where that\u2019s going, either. Peter lays down to sleep, and \u201cprecisely two minutes later,\u201d the country singing begins. He get so mad he accidentally punches a hole in the wall trying to just bang on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Mm hm. There you go. Lonesome Pincus. As Peter is meeting Lonesome, Hydroman want Sandman to know he can\u2019t be \u201cpawin\u2019 his girl,\u201d and it\u2019s fightin\u2019 time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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But then the unexpected happens: Sadie gets them to stop fighting and go for a walk while telling them they have everything in common and would make a great team. And the walk quickly turns into a crime spree, as Sandman and Hydroman start stealing thing to impress Sadie. A TV, a mink coat, it\u2019s going down. The next day, at The Daily Bugle, Peter finds out that Hydroman and Sandman were seeing fighting at the bar last night and goes to investigate. A barkeep in the Law & Order \u201cworking while talking\u201d mode tells him where Sadie lives. And at Sadie\u2019s place, tensions are running high and Sandman and Hydroman are not getting along. They start fighting rrrrrrright before Spider-Man comes crashing through the window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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He\u2019s actually doing pretty good against the two goons when Sadie bashes him in the head with a vase (I\u2019m surprised she didn\u2019t assume Spidey was here to vie for her affections, also). While he\u2019s stunned, Hydroman blasts him out the window, into a storm. As the cops show,  Spidey puts some distance between him and the villains and tries to ambush them, but it doesn\u2019t work out. They chase him down to the docks, where he realizes he can pull the oldest trick in the book\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Well. They crashed right into each other. What could possibly happen next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Man, this one\u2026 this one really came at me. Let\u2019s see how this whole insane mess wraps up next issue. I hope it includes Denny O\u2019Neil\u2019s description of that tragic love story also released in 1981, Raiders of the Lost Ark.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So it\u2019s only Hydro-Man\u2019s second appearance they\u2019re already gonna do the thing where he merges with Sandman and becomes a mud man. Look at this cover, you and I both know it\u2019s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3813,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[9,157,154,209,241,18,118,248,101,2],"class_list":["post-119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1980s","tag-amazing-spider-man","tag-biff-riffkin","tag-deb-whitman","tag-denny-oneil","tag-hydro-man","tag-jim-mooney","tag-john-romita-jr","tag-lonesome-pincus","tag-sandman","tag-spider-man"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4079,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119\/revisions\/4079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}