I want to reiterate that nerds thought this scrawny, misshapen thing was an example of how Turner drew super sexy women in 2007. Interesting to me how this cover picks up right where last issue left off. Now, look, this is obviously not in continuity, and it shouldn’t really matter, I guess, but the beginning of this issue…
What, were you afraid Red Sonja fans wouldn’t know Venom was now bonded to Mac Gargan? I kind of doubt Red Sonja fans care about anything besides making her bikini as small as possible. Why do this? Well, back at the museum, Red has knocked Spider-Man off the roof, but he comes swinging back in a partial McFarlane swipe to make jokes about how MJ would kill him for letting her run around dressed like this. Neither he nor Red Sonja seem to remember their previous encounter. Also, this time, they can understand each other. It might’ve been easier to just not reference MTU 79 at all if you’re going to do this.
Me, I think Red Sonja fans’ primary concerns were panels like the top of the 2nd page, there. To wit, I actually find it kind of surprising Mel Rubi was her regular artist, as he doesn’t draw her all skinny and whatnot a la Mike Turner or J. Scott Campbell, the reigning authorities on “hot” women in the period (Somehow!?!?!). Spider-Man’s head in panel 5 of that page kinda defies belief. Well, they fight through 2 more pages, physically and verbally, as if Spider-Man couldn’t just web her to the roof. She doesn’t have super strength or anything, AND he doesn’t want to hurt her since he knows she’s MJ, why are they fighting? They fight right off the roof, falling onto a nearby lower roof and then through it into a pub. Somehow, this massive fall and deceleration trauma briefly stuns Spider-Man and doesn’t hurt Sonja at all. Makes no sense. So she has him where she wants him, and stabs in him the face. Or at least it looks like she does until the next page, in a classic case of…
Meanwhile, out in the street, the regular folks are being herded up like cattle, and Joe Robertson saves a little girl from being trampled as we learn baddies are being led by “Vermin, right hand of the master!” who has blonde hair and a goatee despite A) Not having hair before and B) being a black man when he’s not Vermin, so you know, uh, oops. Als he’s riding a giant fire breathing rat, and that’s something you don’t see everyday. Back in the pub, Venom is mixing it up with the heroes, exclusively using “I” instead of “we,” which, again, oops.
Boyfriend??? Man, I am so confused. Also it looks like Sonja cut Venom completely in half in panel 1, and he then he just walks it off? Well, fight fight fight, and Spider-Man ends up chucked in the water in Central Park. Red disengages to go rescue him, and Venom just… lets her? Then Vermin rides up and tells him to come to Gath. Whose people really are beheading redheads, so that’s nice of them.
What allies will Red Sonja gather? Maybe the ragtag bunch from Uncanny 192-193? Seems unlikely, but I don’t remember. This comic… is not very good…