A return to USM should be a time of great joy. It’s one of the best comics I’ve ever read. But nothing is perfect, and this 150+ issue series is entering its only slump period, and it all starts with Ultimate Carnage. Just 7 months before having the Sentry tear Carnage in half because he’s lame and sucks in New Avengers, Bendis takes up the challenge of rehabbing an even lamer character than Venom. It’s not gonna go well! We’re back with Bendis, Mark Bagley, Scott Hanna and JD Smith. This issue opens with a very Bagley splash of the Lizard jumping at the reader.
And then Curt wakes up. The Spider-Man dialogue in his nightmare feels like a bit of a cheat, but whatever. Slowly realizing he was only dreaming, Curt calls his ex-wife, Doris, to see if their son, Timmy, is ok. I don’t know why you’d change their names. From his half of the conversation, we know she’s not thrilled to hear him, thinks he’s drunk, and has a new man. He hangs up. Then we see some paperwork showing he’s about to lose his grant from Stark International unless he shows them something, and he broods. Meanwhile, Spider-Man follows some police cars to whatever requires a whole lot of police cars in pouring rain, complaining the whole way. “Jeanne De Wolffe” is in charge of the operation when he gets there (Names are just up in the air now?), which turns out to be a hostage situation. Our guy sneaks inside.
Who would ever have expected to see Ultimate Gladiator? Not me, and I’ve read this comic before! Spidey and Gladiator have a really brutal knock-down, drag-out across 2 more annoying to photograph 2-page spreads.
So, wouldn’t you know it, bleeding from his gut and too scared of a hospital, Spider-Man goes to… Dr. Curt Connors. He says Curt said he owed him a favor (Back in USM 39), and he’s calling it in. Curt protests that he’s not that kind of doctor, but soon enough, he’s sewing Peter up. When Curt says he’s been having a rough time, Peter jokes that at least he’s not a lizard. It is not received well.
Well, in a comic with Carnage on the cover, this can’t lead to anything good, huh? I Guess I get the marketing, but why put Carnage on the cover so for before there’s even a Carnage? Just to make sure anyone who would buy a comic strictly because Carnage is in it doesn’t miss part 1? But then Carnage is not in it, so will they stick around? I’m glad I don’t make these decisions.