This month, we open with a flashback.
Ok, whatever. Meanwhile, at the 13th Police Precinct, Jamie Madrox has shown up, with his partner, “Agent Sands,” to ask about Floyd Baker. Does Peter even know Jamie Madrox? Like, at all? Does he know Madrox was investigating the Vulture in FNSM 16? Does he know how Madrox dresses right now? What… is going on? Well, anyway, he informs the cop he’s talking to that Ben Parker died years ago, so the guy Floyd Baker is meant to have killed couldn’t have been him. He’s hoping Baker said something under interrogation that could provide a clue as to what’s going on.
As Sandman blows their cover, they’re informed Floyd has been “fast-tracked for the dirt nap” (Is Mickey Spillane alive and ghostwriting this book?), and he’ll be executed in 2 days. Then Spider-Man’s image inducer shuts down. The cop yells that Spider-Man is here, and there’s a big standoff. Spidey convinces Sandy not to kill the cop, and they escape, and there is much Komedy Business along the way. Aunt May is dying, you know. Meanwhile, big news from the cop out department:
I just like these 2 together. After all their history. Peter David hasn’t exactly been thrilling me on this title, but I like him doing this. Betty asks about “Ms. Arrow.” Flash says he asked her out a few times, but she said no. Betty notes how much Ms. Arrow hated her in FNSM 16, but Flash doesn’t care about Arrow, he’s into Betty now. Elsewhere, Spider-Man and Sandman repeat their argument about how Sandy’s dad is “not Spider-Man’s problem,” and then get back to Spider-Man helping him, anyway. They decide to go make sure the real Uncle Ben is where Peter left him. Very recently, as it turns out, but continuity is clearly not a priority right now.
Are Betty and Deb friends now? I think it would be fun if Deb rejoined the cast, but it is not to be. She never appears in a comic again as of this writing. Anyway, Betty:
So Betty runs out and tells everyone there’s “maybe a thousand spiders” in the bathroom, and then she, Flash and the manager go in there, but instead of spiders, they find the equipment for using cocaine. Why… is Ms. Arrow so worried about Betty? Betty doesn’t affect whatever her dumb plans for Spider-Man must be. The manager says if she’ll leave now, they won’t press charges, and Ms. Arrow watches them go, smiling her bad guy smile.
See, I coulda done with a lot more of this. Peter unmasks, there’s so many people who could’ve reacted, and we didn’t really check in with any of them. JJJ. Liz. Flash and Betty. Some angry villains. Deb of all people. I would’ve bought a one-shot that was just reporters interviewing a ton of old cast members about Peter unmasking, for real. Where’s good ol’ Steve Hopkins, and what does he think? Anyway. If the possibly dead homeless Uncle Ben was this Uncle Ben, wouldn’t Spider-Man have found the grave open in Fallen Son? I can forgive him not seeing the singe marks on a dark rainy night, but…continuity is over.
Spider-Man’s new, even more magical Spider Sense, which JMS seemed to abandon the second he introduced it, is dumb. Not as dumb as what they’ve done with Miles Morales’ in my present, tho, I’ll tell you that.
Are we gonna wrap the alternate Uncle Ben story next month? Only got 6 issues left, David better start winding down. I guess I’ll find out… next time!