Alright. 5 issues into their title, we can finally see what Peter David & Mike Wieringo would like it to be. How insane.
Hang on, is this a flashback?
Why is this a flashback?? You finally get your book back and you go back in time?? This girl had a BLOG when Peter Parker was a teenager in 2006??? No matter how insane editorial may become, there is no way Peter Parker is younger than 23. I think older, myself, but we’re very much into the era where they’ve decided married, father-of-dead-child, has gone to grad school 5 times Peter Parker must “represent youth.” So as this comes out, he was 15 in 1998, at the absolute earliest. And this girl’s blogging??? She can’t even be Livejournaling! She’s on AOL chat rooms! Peter David, I say thee nay. Hm, working that out has made me realize in 2006, Peter is either at or near the time he becomes younger than me. I never thought of it that way. I mean he’ll obviously be younger than me most of my life, but after 20-some odd years of Peter being older than me, in 2006, he must now be around my age, and getting younger every year. Huh. I go to so distracted by the anachronism I forgot what’s happening in the comic.Oh, so this Vanna was frozen in fear but tells her BLOG that she fearlessly stood her ground, and then Spider-Man appeared from under the bleachers, where he was probably spying on her, like a creep, because she does not like that guy.
I wonder if this was for Ringo. A chance to do something more lighthearted after the dreck he just slogged through. I hope so. Now it’s “a few years later,” blog entry #583, this lady runs her blog like Punisher’s War Journal, and this entry is about how “Spider-Man took a long time to make his follow-up move.” She was at the NY Science Museum for a college assignment and went to the ladies’, and guess what?
Does Ringo just love the Looter? He did all that Looter stuff with Todd DeZago, and now this. Spidey clobbered the Looter and said, “It’s been fun, Crazy Lady! We gotta do this again sometime!” on his way out. Not the right choice of words! Next it’s blog entry #1479, Spider-Man fought Sandman at a beach she was at, obviously to get her attention. She says her therapist was skeptical that he was stalking her. How bout that? Entry #1621, Spidey and Rhino fought through a coffee shop she was in. The cops don’t believe her and she’s dropped her therapist for also not believing her. She said she knew what to do.
Her SENIOR year? Peter was in glasses!
So then she went to the Bugle, where JJJ wanted to do a story on her. He made Peter take the pictures, of course. She asked Peter if they’d met, and he said she didn’t know him at all. I guess I should’ve dignified the “Peter Palmer” joke with a reference back to the original typo, but it was too cutesy. Anyway.
Well, that was weird, mean, and pretty depressing! Great stuff! What in the world was that? They finally slip the yoke of the Other and this is what we get? Worse, Mike has just 3 more issues on this title. Come on, David. Give him something good. I’m beggin you.