Plus: More Weiringo art. Con: 3 consecutive issues by Hudlin. Let’s get on with it. We begin on a splash of Aunt May reading Peter’s diagnosis.
Nice of May to be the voice of reason. Next up, we find Luke Cage and Spider-Woman outside Tony Stark’s office, into which, Jessica says, “that redhead chick and that old lady” entered an hour ago. Luke says this must be because there’s some truth to the rumors about MJ and Tony, and then May & MJ come out, Tony saying he’ll take care of this, them asking it be kept secret. Now Jessica believes Luke. Whatever.
Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Hank Pym and even Bill Foster, they’ve really called in the big brains. I would expect T’Challa to be there, especially in the time before his scientific acumen was transferred to Shuri because everything in comics has to follow the movies, and he’s on the cover, even, so maybe we’ll reach him eventually. Well, the science team and Spider-Man have flown to the desert to find Bruce Banner, but of course, they find the Hulk. It must be said that Ringo executes the Granov Iron Man armor perfectly.
It doesn’t work on the Hulk. Reed Richards says, “This is stupid,” which he would never say, and then rightly points out that they should’ve brought Sue, that she could encase the gas in a force field around Hulk’s head and end this, so you know, he’s 50/50 there. A battle ensues in which Hulk quickly dispatches everyone except this book’s title character. Quite convenient!
Next, we’re in the Baxter Building, and the Thing is complaining to Reed about Bruce being allowed in, and while that’s dumb, it’s fun to see more Ringo FF stuff. But also, one has to wonder. You just finished several years on FF. You think, “time to do something else.” And in only the 2nd issue of your next title, you’re drawing Reed & Ben in the Baxter Building. Anyway, Bruce can’t figure anything out quickly, and Spider-Man doesn’t have any time. But he has a suggestion.
There he is. Only a few years from this issue, there’s no way T’Challa wouldn’t have been in the initial gathering, but at least we got to him.
Hudlin, of course, is the writer of Black Panther in this moment, and I’d say you’d be hard pressed to find a better example of why that was a mistake than T’Challa casually giving Spider-Man the jealously guarded ancient source of the king of Wakanda’s powers. Boy oh boy. T’Challa takes Spider-Man to the Temple of Anansi, which looks a whole lot like the temple Ezekiel got his powers in. Spider-Man points out that the last time he was in one of these, someone tried to use him as a human sacrifice, and… and T’Challa says, “You’re right. It could happen here, too. Let’s head back.” Th… then why BRING him here!?!? So much of this issue feels like filling space. So much of this STORY feels like filling space, the first 3 issues could’ve easily just been one. Real Maximum Carnage vibes. As the heroes leave, Morlun watches them go from the shadows, because he’s everywhere, all the time.
Peter getting lame white guy cornrows is so awful it’s actually pretty funny. It’s more filler for this issue, but I can’t say I didn’t laugh. Well, then. After all that, we find Spider-Man back in New York at night, up on a roof, watching the world go by below, thinking all the greatest minds in the world couldn’t help him and he’s going to die. I would ask “what about the heart shaped herb?”, but it turns out I don’t care. He thinks he never did enough for his family, for MJ, due to his sense of responsibility. Then he hears some gunshots, and finds the Ox beating up the shooter, who failed to pay up on some debts or something. Which of the Oxen is it, one wonders. The original, last seen working for Kingpin what feels like forever ago, or his brother? Internet seems to think it’s the 2nd one, but who knows. Am I just trying to amuse myself during this godawful experience? Maybe so!
Spider-Man proceeds to beat “Morlun” near to death, but of course it’s just Ox, and lucky for him, Daredevil appears outta nowhere and stops him.
Ringo draws a good DD! Well, immediately and jarringly, we’re in Dr. Strange’s house, and he says Spider-Man is under a curse, and the forces against him are unstoppable.
Well, that’s it, then. I guess the guy who just launched another monthly title is definitely gonna die this time. Yessir. I believe it. This is the end of Spider-Man.