The ugly Spider-Man font is back here, too! Why????? You fixed it! It will stick around for the next 3-ish years, as I recall. Well, we’re into it. Two “its,” I guess. First is the run on this title by Mike Deodato, Jr., who I do not care for at all. I told people the Spider-Man on this cover looks like a Spider-Man-shaped sack of mashed potatoes at the time. I stand by my statement. But in this era, while Deodato’s superhero stuff retained this sloppy, 90s-y look, he began to trace pictures of celebrities for the real people, like some of his peers. This was a catastrophic trend in comics. I can’t take them seriously when I turn the page and see some famous person for no reason. But at least Deo and Bryan Hitch and LaRocca picked an actor to “star” as a character, I guess, as opposed to Greg Land, who just traced a different random celebrity (or porn star) in every panel. That guy is a Grade A hack. A few years hence, Deodato will abandon drawing entirely to begin tracing Poser models (And many of his peers will follow suit), something a shocking number of fans and seemingly editors and writers don’t seem to pick up on. Like, overnight he goes from this sloppy, wildly inconsistent art style to computerized “perfection” and uniformity (And the telltale limitations of the Poser models of the day), and people are just like “Wow, he got really good!” Thus he starts becoming a superstar artist by turning in some of the most lifeless, stodgy comic art I’ve ever seen. His rise dovetails with reader interest in comics art reaching an all-time low and staying there, unsurprisingly. Since the 2010s, most comic readers seemingly glance at the art just long enough to make sure the red blob the word balloon is pointed at is Spider-Man. A visual medium where the fans don’t appreciate the visuals. A visual medium where I’ve personally seen “fans” online miscredit Arthur Adams as Alex Ross. These people presumably walk through their day pointing at cars and saying “Look at that plane!” Just people who really ought to be reading books instead of comics for as little as they care about the art. Hey, I’m not jaded or anything.
Anyway, I’m not enthused about Deodato being on this title at all, especially coming after the best in the biz. But, to his detriment, his arrival comes alongside one of the all-time worst Spider-Man stories. Ever. Really. To this day, I cannot believe this abomination was allowed to see print. Some writers can take an idea that sounds awful and make it sing. Ed Brubaker revealing Bucky was alive in Captain America is a good example. Everyone thought “What? No! That’s terrible!” when they heard about the Winter Soldier. But then we all read the comic, and it was really good! Or when they first started teasing Young Avengers. That sounded so stupid. Why would there be kid versions of the Avengers? And then we all read the comic, and it was really good! It can be done. But this story is about doing something an order of magnitude crazier than bringing Bucky back, and the payoff is garbage, and this 100% should have been rejected. I have been dreading it like few other low points in this series since we got to Vol. 2, #1. And here it is. Joe Pimentel inks and Matt Milla hangs on for colors. We open on MJ flubbing an audition for a play called “Cats Always Lie.” The director tells her to stop acting, but he doesn’t mean quit, he means…
Why is Robert Deniro here? How am I supposed to think anything other than “Hey, that’s Robert Deniro” when I see this? Instantly taken out of the book and it’s only page 3.
Honestly, I’m just lucky I don’t recognize who he’s “cast” as Peter & MJ, or I literally wouldn’t be able to pay attention. Like when LaRocca casts a guy from Lost as Tony Stark in what should have been Matt Fraction’s all-time classic run of Iron Man. Back home, MJ recounts the events to Peter & May until there’s a knock at the door, and May receives some mail which causes her to ask Peter to come to her.
I don’t know who that lady is, but I know she’s not Aunt May. Aunt May has a particular look. No matter who’s drawn her over the ages, you can tell it’s her. That is Some Lady.
So, this letter from Gwen was written right before she died, during the events of ASM 119–120 and referencing her flight to Europe in the early 90s prior to that. This allows Deodato to draw Spider-Man, his new assignment vs. Hulk, his previous assignment, in a flashback panel as Peter explains it to MJ. He further explains to her/us even tho she was there that, when Gwen got back from France, it was one crazy thing after another until she died, so Deodato can be the millionth artist to rehash her death. I dunno. I guess in some ways, it might be exciting to do you version of one of the most famous stories ever, but I think if a writer made me re-draw the panels where she died, like so many before me, I’d just be salty. What, am I gonna do it better than Kane & Romita? Do you think someone reading this doesn’t know what happened? Well, whatever, Peter currently has 2 things on his mind. One, she never would’ve sent an incomplete letter. Two, there’s a current stamp on it, and 3, the postmark is from just this month, maybe this week, who knows>
So, one, “oh no, Gwen had a terrible secret” is just lazy to me. I get irked pretty quickly by “I am shoehorning something into the very well-trodden past that somehow hasn’t come up before” as a plot device in general. Low hanging fruit. Also known as “Scott Snyder’s only idea for Batman.” He just did it over and over in back-to-back stories. Two, no one could have guessed just how stupid and terrible her secret is. There is no reason to approve this story. Like, this should have gotten Axel Alonso fired off ASM, in my opinion. It is that bad, and it was received that badly. Peter watches MJ sleep and thinks she doesn’t deserve this, especially not on a day that made her so happy. Then he’s off to talk to Gwen’s grave.
Who paid for Gwen’s burial, anyway? Her whole family was already dead. Arthur? Why didn’t he come to the funeral? Maybe he did and I forgot, but if he did… I forgot. Peter saying “I thought we could talk about anything” to the woman who died thinking Spider-Man killed her dad and not knowing he was Spider-Man is pretty funny.
Two generic villains in suits that make them look like goons from a Rob Leifeld comic start beating up Peter, asking him how it feels knowing he’ll die alone, and he has no choice but to fight back.
I don’t know what I thought this would turn out to be back then, but there was no way to guess the end, because it literally doesn’t make any sense. Any sense. But we’re in it now. This 6-part disaster is only getting started.