I couldn’t pick a joke here, so you choose how this post starts:
1 – Finally, a supervillain named after a paper towel
OR
2- We finally know where in the world Carmen San Diego is.
Technically this shoulda been first this block, as it came out the same months as the 24s of ASM and PPSM, but I wanted to hold it til after the Sentry. Mostly because after it, there’s still more random things that aren’t the main books, and I wanted at least something normal before my 14th post this block. Not that this issue is especially normal. It randomly features a Chris Claremont plot (Hist first for Spidey since the early 80s?), but is scripted by Bill Rosemann, editor, writer, later high ranking official in Marvel’s game division. Pencils are courtesy of Joe Bennett, inks by Mark Pennington and colors by Joe Rosas. We open on our man in an unusual position, covering Randy’s shift as a bartender. Unfortunately for him, as he’s doing his thing, we find Bounty drinking in the place, so one assumes battle is not far away.
“Lopped,” Bill.
Peter just better hope Brawny doesn’t show up, also. But she’s from Claremont’s FF run, that makes sense. As Peter lures her outside, a caption says “I knew there’d be no use in the alley” instead of “no one,” so maybe “lobbed” wasn’t Bill’s fault. The fight quickly grows more intense as Bounty displays extreme strength and almost nails our man a few times. He eventually bolts away to grab his stashed Spider-Gear, but doesn’t have time for the suit.
Rather doubt anything Peter makes would be iMac compatible, but what’s a turn-of-the-century comic without instantly dated references? Peter chases Bounty, not putting on his suit, which makes… zero sense. Negative sense. And she found his tracker and sneaks up on him, leading to half a page more fighting, and then…
This is one weird comic.
An alliance with the horde! Now there’s a loaded sentence for all the Warcraft fans out there currently enjoying Warcraft III as this was published. Bounty intimidates the ladies out, but not before their leader grabs that waitress and says she’s “takin’ Diane home, where she belongs.” Bounty and Peter Parker: Hold the Spider-Man decide they have to go help. Peter is being so insanely loose with his secrets here. Peter mostly watches as Bounty talks to people to get info out of them, sweet talking instead of Daredevilling, and he’s impressed.
I never expected this to be a rom com. Then they encounter the guy from the diner fighting dudes from the Horde (Loktar!). Oh, I somehow missed that he’s affiliated with them like the girl is with the girls, this is a Romeo & Juliet thing, ok. They rescue the kid, he tells them the Romeo & Juliet story, and then Peter ffffffffinally makes an excuse to slip away, making a joke about having “a signal watch that summons my special pal,” and returns as Spider-Man.
Spider-Man saying “Karate chop!” did make me laugh, I have to admit. The Bacchae suddenly produce giant cannons, and Spider-Man leaps out a window with Diane, flipped and dodging them to the ground.
So now some random jobber… anti-hero? Villain?… knows Spider-Man’s real face, swell. Fight fight fight, the car starts, it has only JUST dawned on me that the kids are “Jack & Diane” and now I am very cross…
They named their kid after him, how nice. This kind of thing would seem to set up Bounty as, like, a regular member of the Spider-Cast. Maybe even Peter’s new girlfriend. I mean, they were doing a rom-com thing, she knows he’s Spider-Man, etc. But we’ll never see her again. Humorously to me, I see on the internet that Claremont brought her and the Bacchae back in the weird Gambit miniseries he did in 2022 that takes place in late 80s continuity. That’s funny. Well, anyway, this is an annual, it can’t be over already, and it’s not. For the 2nd feature, Gregory Wright swaps in as writer and colorist, while the line art team hangs in there. We open on Spidey having caught Black Cat breaking into a place. I’m not totally sure when this takes place…
Fight fight fight, Spider-Man tries to encase Hydro-Man in his web like that would ever work, and it’s doesn’t, various flirtatious things from Black Cat, etc.
Right-o. A bit jumbled. Anyway, that’s that for that. Well, get ready for 7 more comics that are neither ASM or PPSM in a row! This is some block…