You’d never know it, but I haven’t read an old Spider-Man comic in like 3 or 4 weeks as of this writing, which is the longest period in about 8 months. But I’m back and refreshed and you didn’t even know I was gone and by the time you see this, I wrote it almost a year ago, so who cares, here goes.
I took that picture solely for the terrible Doc Savage pun. And here’s another, because the Spidey in the 2nd panel has been swiped and remade for advertising a surprising number of times:
As Spidey arrives home, MJ is asleep on the couch, and David Letterman is making a joke about something that happened to President Reagan in Captain America 344, which is pretty random. A footnote even leads you to Cap 344 so you can get the joke. MJ wakes up and they talk briefly about their future, each displaying some of Todd McFarlane’s trademark hilariously tiny hands in close-up shots, before deciding to sleep on it. The next day, Sandman is breaking a bunch of robots to prove he’s formidable to Silver Sable. She recaps that they’re after that Franz Kraus guy, then mentions she’s approached someone he knows to help with this job, leading to…
Mm hm. Do we know why Joe’s in the hospital? I’m not sure if we’ve seen it yet. ASM & TAC don’t seem to want to play nice with the rest of the line right now. Anyway, elsewhere, worrying over what to do about Peter’s job offer is messing up MJ’s gig for the day, while Spider-Man shows up at the Symkarian Embassy, and Todd McFarlane does his first of many gag newspapers:
…this one riffing on how he quit The Hulk to do ASM. Silver brings Spidey to Sandman and is informed they’ll be working together. Spidey’s not so sure about that, but in the end, decides getting paid to beat up Nazis beats whatever misgivings he has, and signs on. Thus, later in the evening, the 3 converge on a warehouse by the docks, and Spider-Man heads in to get a look at the place, while McFarlane reproduces his cover corner box for some reason…
Real stealthy. Spidey takes out that guard and discovers all the crates are full of drugs, and soon finds Kraus, who’s telling his goons they’re about to make the biggest drug deal in history with The Kingpin, which will allow them to buy up some land in Central America and found a “Nazi state.” They are aiming really high. Spidey slips back out to tell Silver what’s going on. Back at the crib, MJ gets frustrated by not knowing what the future holds and makes a decision on her own since Peter’s not home, but we’ll have to wait to see what it is. At the warehouse, Spider-Man says they should call the cops because of the size of the army in there, but Silver just walks in. Sandman takes off after her, and Spidey takes off after them, so it’s fightin’ time. Everyone splits up, and Sandman is able to overpower a whole tank.
(I put the 2nd page in there mostly ‘cuz I like the quip) With his part done, Spidey finds Silver fighting her way into Kraus’ office, needing no help. Silver waltzes in, bars his escape and jams a gun in his mouth to get him to surrender. It’s an effective strategy. They finally call the cops. Pruett from 301 arrives on the scene to say how happy he is with her work, and she promises to pay Spidey in cash tomorrow morning, since he can’t cash a check. That just leaves the question of whether to move to Kansas. But come on…
Well, that’s sweet. But it’s not all fun and games as we close the issue:
Egads! Who could those fiends be? Could this be an elaborate misdirection for no obvious reason? Did Todd McFarlane really draw those classic-looking Spider-Mans up there? The answers to some of these questions await in our next issue of ASM.
I have the weirdest relationship with Todd McFarlane’s art. It is, objectively, kinda awful. Bizarre is a good word. Bizarre anatomy, bizarre character “acting,” bizarre page layouts. But when I was a child, it was so unique that I was enthralled by it, so in some ways, this is still “my” Spider-Man. This is what it’s supposed to look like. Sort of. Even though I frequently think it looks pretty bad, and have come to see The Romitas as the gold standard in my old age. Complicated.