I can’t say for sure 15 years on, but I don’t recall the completely irreconcilable timeline of these books being so obvious as they were released. I was probably getting them once, maybe twice a month, figuring it’d all make sense eventually. I am here to tell you, it does not! I guess it helped slightly that I didn’t buy most of the WEB issues at the time. I’m trying to operate using the premise that he’s refusing to go home to mean all the titles are happening at once, but…like how can they, REALLY? Ugh. This is like Spidey getting rid of the alien all over again. I knows a pressure valve is coming in the form of a 4-issue crossover that will allow the books to line up and stop fighting each other. I just gotta get there. And right now, we gotta look further into the mystery of FACADE.
The armor is hidden in the back of a box truck in an alley outside The Bugle, its driver absent, as Betty Brant is riding in the limo from last issue. Lieutenant Chase is interviewing the security guard who got zapped in FACADE’s attack, who’s convinced it was after Betty. He notes John Jameson and Cole Cooper were the only other people in the building at the time. Cooper is on a mission to find Lance Bannon’s evidence of who killed him, while a worried John Jameson waits in his dad’s office, thinking his dad must be innocent, but that this situation is out of control. And then we hit the moment that’s made it impossible for these books to coexist.
This big moment is a cliffhanger in ASM 391, but you’re seeing it here first, because… I don’t see how else to do it, really. And, like, not to take away from this grim scene, but it’s got to be, like, 2am. Why is MJ popping in to check on Aunt May? Anyway, I’m sure Peter will take this rationally in his current state. But that’s for later. Right now, Spider-Man is breaking into Lance Bannon’s apartment, hoping to find some clues to his murder. And even hoping to maybe find the endangered Betty Brant.
Don’t you just love a lighthearted adventure? Left alone, Amy thinks about how no one ever understood Lance like she did. Spider-Man sees how broken she is and can’t help letting himself be known and saying Lance will be avenged as he swings away. He’s moved on to looking for Betty, but Betty’s just made it to Archer Bryce’s big fancy house. She says she’s not into being summoned, but he says he thought she wanted to interview him…
I read those last two panels 3 times, and I’m not sure how that dialogue made any sense, but it’s too late, we’re back with MJ now, waiting at Aunt May’s now-empty home for Peter to call, May having been rushed to the hospital. Someone calls…
I wonder who you are, dear reader. I wonder if you know who this man is. I wonder if you, like me, survived these dark, stupid times in Spider-Man history as a youth. I even wonder, with some fear, if you’re one of those weirdos who’s excited for where this is headed. I know they’re out there. I wonder. Back downtown, whoever it is gets back in the FACADE armor to go kill Betty, I suppose. I’ma keep it real witchu, chief, I have no idea who the killer is. I kinda assume it’s none of the above, but who knows?
Betty’s out on the fire escape, which FACADE rips off the wall when he spots her, saying he just wants to talk… this is certainly how I start all my conversations… leaving Betty dangling from the roof. He zooms up to get her, but then Spidey is there, slamming into his back.
During their battle, Spider-Man actually says, out loud, “I’ve dodged way bigger bio-electric bolts than yours!” NAME ONE. Dodging around like crazy, Spidey webs the big doofus up, but he rips right out of the web, no problem. FACADE starts chucking pieces of the fire escape at him, and Spidey webs his hands together…
I don’t think it does, tho. The webbing, I mean. Remember when it not being a conductor was crucial to keeping Captain Marvel from accidentally blowing up New York? How many times has he used it to shield himself from Electro? I say thee nay, Z-list nobody. I say thee nay. And now, a break in format. WEB 116 actually gives me a gap I think these issues of Amazing can go. But… AFTER resolving this cliffhanger. So I’m gonna cover those pages here, and the rest of the issue after the ASM issues. So, then, FACADE’s about to kill Spidey, oh no, etc, etc…
Now, I know what you’re thinking. I’ll let you stop laughing, go ahead. But believe it or not, this isn’t the first time Betty has put on a headband and become a 90s cliche! We’ll see her earlier forays into super tuffness later. This sure is a far cry from the Betty Brant of Ditko & Lee. I wonder if either of them ever saw this. Spidey escapes, of course, using Betty’s distraction to disappear. As FACADE charges her, though, he comes back.
And from there, we jump ahead a bare minimum of several hours. Maybe days! It just says “Time passes.” So next up, we’re gonna check out ASM, finally, and we’ll catch back up with this one later. Hang in there.