{"id":29630,"date":"2025-11-15T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-15T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/?p=29630"},"modified":"2024-02-20T19:53:35","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T23:53:35","slug":"civil-war-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/2025\/11\/15\/civil-war-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Civil War 5"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ok, then. Things look bad for our hero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The very notion that Tony & Co. would hire a bunch of unrepentant mass murderers to bring in Captain America is so over the top. Forget the ethics of it, who knows you can\u2019t trust these guys more than the people hiring them? It\u2019s the most Millar thing in this series, shock over story, and it sucks so bad. This one opens with the Storms making a daring escape from some cape-killers. Forget anything happening in their own title, I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Oh, he\u2019s got good reason, he\u2019s still in the scene at the end of ASM 535. Well\u2026 sort of, anyway\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Temporary! It\u2019s temporary now! It was forever in ASM 535, but it\u2019s temporary later in the same evening in this! Ugh, this stupid event. JMS was given too free a reign on his titles. Rumor had it his contract stipulated that editorial couldn\u2019t change his scripts. So he gets to blatantly contradict the main series as often as he wants, and we just deal with it, and a dumb story becomes dumber as a direct result. And whatever happens in the main book is what\u2019s really happening. That\u2019s why it\u2019s called the main book. So JMS went off script to make Tony as unrepentantly evil as possible to serve his own agenda in a truly essential tie-in (Given how it picks right up in this issue), and screwed up everything. Just ridiculous. Also, \u201cThor\u201d sure did \u201crespond like a police officer.\u201d Also, Tony calling that thing \u201cThor\u201d is vile. But, that\u2019s the event. \u201cBy the time we\u2019re done, all your heroes will look worse!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Strong points from Tony. It\u2019s so funny how he\u2019s right in the main book and tying women to railroad tracks in JMS books. What else could they have done? Public opinion was overwhelmingly for registration. You can try to change that, but to just refuse isn\u2019t exactly gonna make people like you. Whatever happened to democracy? If the majority wants it, they should get it. Even if it\u2019s wrong! Who is Captain America, of ALL people, to decide the will of the people should be ignored because he doesn\u2019t like it? This stupid country has happily supported all kinds of things I\u2019ve vehemently opposed, but if the majority wants it, this is supposed to be a democracy, we\u2019ll suffer together. And if the majority happens to be right\u2026 As I write this, a few years ago, the voters of Mississippi overwhelmingly passed a ballot initiative to legalize medical marijuana. The state legislature and governor then proceeded to simply countermand the will of the people, coming up with reasons that don\u2019t hold up legally not to implement it, delaying, obfuscating, being Republicans about it. Is that what Cap is supposed to think should\u2019ve happened? The government should\u2019ve looked at the people demanding this law and said \u201cno?\u201d Is this book positing that majority rule is a bad thing? Like a stupid comic book about Captain America punching Iron Man really isn\u2019t the place to debate this type of thing, but they chose to do that, not me! I\u2019m just the one reading it, marveling at how facile and juvenile and poorly thought out the \u201cpolitics\u201d are. AND ANOTHER THING! While I\u2019m way off on a tangent. It\u2019s amazing to me during and after this, how the real-world politics of it worked. By now, the average comic book fan is pretty liberal. They like to read, after all. And fans overwhelmingly sided with Cap. Fans looked at people pushing responsible regulation vs. the myth of American rugged individualism, and overwhelmingly chose the conservative position! In the real world, these same readers believe in the EPA and the FDA and gun control, but they come down hard against regulation in this comic book. And why is that? Because as presented in this event, it\u2019s a terrible idea! The last thing you want is a Marvel Universe where every hero is a cop. It\u2019s not what you, the reader, want. But regulation is what you, the reader, demand of your government in the real world. The cognitive dissonance was just astounding to me. And still is, clearly. All of this leads to my oft-repeated point that this is a subject best left unaddressed in superhero comics. There\u2019s no good answer that also leads to a satisfying Marvel Universe. And yet, here we are. This is just the tip of the iceberg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Maria Hill knows what\u2019s happening, and over Tony\u2019s objections, activates the Thunderbolts Program, which is \u201cstill top secret,\u201d on account of not even the staunchest pro-registration American wants friggin Bullseye running through their neighborhood, OBVIOUSLY. She wants 14 slavering psychopaths loosed on New York to hunt Spider-Man. Great stuff. Spidey\u2019s running through a sewer, but they got cameras down there, apparently, and soon a stupid toy explodes in front of him, as the Jester, surely the most dangerous of all villains, is the first on the scene. Then Jack O\u2019Lantern joins in, telling Spider-Man he & Jester are finally joining the A-List. And who even is that Jack O\u2019Lantern? Internet sez it\u2019s the Jack O\u2019Lantern who was in a bunch of Captain America comics after the original became the Hobgoblin. Not to be confused with DeMatteis\u2019 \u201cMad Jack\u201d nonsense, of course. Ok, fine, I guess he\u2019s back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The biggest indignity of all is Spider-Man getting jobbed out to these dorks. The JESTER? Come on, man. You had Venom & Bullseye and you sent the Jester and Great Value Jack O\u2019Lantern? Don\u2019t worry, tho, there\u2019s an explicit reason they sent losers\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2026because they\u2019re dead now. Hey, who shoots people? Anyway, while that\u2019s going on, Johny & Sue arrive at Cap\u2019s secret base under their new fake identities as a married couple. Oh yeah, you read right. We learn Cap is planning a raid on the Baxter Building, and through it, the Negative Zone prison, but Cloak & Dagger just got pinched, and Cloak was key to that plan. Then someone waltzes in unannounced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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And that\u2019s who shoots people. Weird, weird face on Cap. I have no idea who \u201cUltra Girl\u201d is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Frank\u2019s reason for signing up makes sense\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2026until the next page, when it\u2019s revealed he\u2019s been the one shadowing this team and helping them, before he learned about the Thunderbolts, whomp whomp. Almost got something logical in there! Additionally, most of these people have teamed up with the Punisher. This whole \u201cUgh! We can\u2019t work with HIM!\u201d thing coming from the likes of Luke Cage, who overlooked the\u2026 everything of it all when Frank got plastic surgery to become black in the 90s and was hanging out with him all the time only plays if you don\u2019t know about that. And that\u2019s the least of the characterization issues where Punisher joining this team is concerned, believe you me. Also, look, Tigra’s up to something! Meanwhile:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Wholly correct take from She-Hulk. It\u2019s really that simple. As DD, who is Iron Fist of course, is being led into the prison, Tony Stark is explaining this is all their best bet, that the alternative was a total ban. That they\u2019re creating a superhero team for each of the 50 states to keep the peace, and that they\u2019d much prefer to have DD on that team than in prison. I just think it\u2019s hilarious no one\u2019s taken his mask off to see who they\u2019re arresting. They just go \u201cOh, it\u2019s Daredevil,\u201d and it\u2019s not even Daredevil. Isn\u2019t unmasking baked into registration as this book presents it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Man, that\u2019s one weak cliffhanger. If you can even call it one. A series that has had issues end on Spider-Man unmasking, the apparent return of Thor and the revelation of Marvel Suicide Squad, and this is the best you can do for #5? I guess so! Next up: We examine Spider-Man\u2019s embarrassing loss to those jobbers in not one, but TWO different tie-ins! I know!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok, then. Things look bad for our hero. The very notion that Tony & Co. would hire a bunch of unrepentant mass murderers to bring in Captain America is so over the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29629,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1864],"tags":[2284,58,2038,263,2288,72,625,64,331,2313,139,2140,2106,309,2039,235,2253,171,247,665,2254,2037,2316,1710,147,2314,2315],"class_list":["post-29630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2000s","tag-civil-war","tag-daredevil","tag-dexter-vines","tag-falcon","tag-happy-hogan","tag-human-torch","tag-iron-fist","tag-iron-man","tag-jack-olantern","tag-jester","tag-luke-cage","tag-maria-hill","tag-mark-millar","tag-monica-rambeau","tag-morry-hollowell","tag-nighthawk","tag-patriot","tag-punisher","tag-reed-richards","tag-she-hulk","tag-stature","tag-steve-mcniven","tag-stingray","tag-sue-storm","tag-tigra","tag-triathalon","tag-ultra-girl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29630","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29630"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29630\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29644,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29630\/revisions\/29644"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/comicsfromspace.com\/spiderman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}